“I’m not good at anything” – 10 Steps to Prove You Are Wrong

Do you feel like you have no talents or skills? That everyone around you is doing much better? And do you worry about your future too?

Do you continuously ask yourself, “Why am I not good at anything?”

Well, you’re 100% wrong about that.t

How do I know?

Because for the longest time, I felt that way too. Not to mention that I had ‘proof’ to support the ‘truth’ that I wasn’t good at anything. 

But I’ve proven myself wrong many times over since that time.

In this article, you will learn why you’re wrong. And you will also know what to do next so that you never have to feel like you’re not good at anything anymore.

So let’s dive in!

Why do you feel like you’re not good at anything?

The nature of questions is that your mind will try to come up with an answer for anything you ask.

What kind of answers do you get when you ask yourself, “Why am I not good at anything?”

Not very empowering ones.

It took me years to figure out that I kept myself hostage by continuously asking these disempowering questions for years.

And there are three key reasons why we get stuck in this loop:

1. Unrealistic expectations
2. False comparison
3. Self-sabotage

Reason 1. Unrealistic expectations

Do you feel stuck because you believe you need to have your whole life figured out? Even if you’re only in your 20s or 30s? 

It’s common to feel that way.

But think about this: the average worldwide life expectancy is 70+ years. So if you’re in your 20s or 30s, you’re not even close to halfway through.

So why so impatient?

You could fuck up the next ten years and still be okay. Instead of wondering why you’re not good at anything, why not take a full year to try out things and experiment with different stuff? 

And even if you’re 50+ years old, life is not over yet. 

For example, Colonel Sanders spent a lifetime in various jobs and only franchised KFC for the first time at 62. And there are many more examples like this. 

What is the point?

You’ve got time – almost a lifetime – to figure your life out.

Rather than wondering why you’re not good at anything, use that time and energy to explore your interests instead. 

Reason 2. False comparison

We love to compare ourselves to others – it’s pretty much our nature to do so. But it’s also the fast road for suffering.

Why?

Because it’s not difficult to find someone who is doing better than you in any area of life.

You will never win the game of comparison.

A good example is people who attach the meaning of ‘being rich’ to having more than their neighbor. And when they finally achieve it, they then upgrade to a fancier place, where the process starts all over again.

So ask yourself this:

Do you feel like you’re not good at anything because you keep comparing yourself?

If so, here’s how you can stop comparing yourself to others.

Reason 3. Self-sabotage

Are you sabotaging yourself?

The more defensive your reaction after reading that question, the more likely it is that self-sabotage plays a role in how you feel.

But what does this mean?

According to Healthline, “self-sabotage refers to behaviors or thought patterns that hold you back and prevent you from doing what you want to do.”

In practice, it means that you look for ways to justify that you’re not good at anything, even if that’s not the truth.

A good example?

Well, say you’re good at many things, but you tend to find the one tiny mistake you made. Then, you blow that mistake out of proportion to justify that you’re not good at anything. 

That indicates self-sabotaging behavior.

When you’re sabotaging yourself, it may be challenging for you to see that you’re doing it. But you must stop bullshitting yourself and become honest: are you lying to yourself and sabotaging your success?

What to do if you’ve no talent or skills?

Thus far, we covered that the question, “Why am I not good at anything?”, prompts the mind to develop disempowering and wrong answers. 

So, what is the truth about your talents and skills right now?

First, can we agree that everyone has different personality traits and good and bad things? Well, in that intersect lay your unique talents.

You just need to figure out what it is.

What about skills? 

The very nature of skills is that you develop them through practice. Everyone starts from scratch. It’s up to you to find the skills you want to build and then put time and effort into it. 

Let’s make that more practical through the following steps.

Step 1. Make a decision

Do you really want to get good at something?

That seems like an unnecessary and self-evident question, right?

And since you’re reading this article, I doubt that you will have problems making this decision.

So why is it important?

The biggest problem is not that you’re not good at anything. Instead, the problem is that you believe that and unconsciously seek evidence to strengthen that belief.

Making an intentional decision is the first step to breaking the current program from running its automatic script, such as asking questions like, “Why am I not good at anything?” or “why do I have no talent?”

In other words, making this decision increases awareness.

Step 2. Reframe the question

Okay, so now you have decided that you want to become great at something, it’s time to examine the questions you ask yourself.

Can you answer this question, “why am I not good at anything?”

Unsurprisingly, you can!

And you may have been for a long time now. And every time you ask that question – whether consciously or unconsciously – your mind comes up with an answer. And that answer is used to strengthen your belief.

What if you change the question?

For example, ask yourself, “what am I good at?”

Don’t let yourself off the hook by answering: nothing. 

There’s always something.

Even something as small as making your bed in the morning. What about a specific dish that you make better than anyone? The way you organize your desk? Or is there a game you’re pretty good at?

What’s something that others compliment you about?

Did you come up with something?

If not, keep trying a bit longer.

And if you did, then you’ve just found yourself an empowering answer for the question, “why am I not good at anything?”

Here’s a follow-up question:

What is something that you want to become good at?

Once again, ask, and your mind will come up with an answer. So if you improve the quality of your questions, so do the answers.

Step 3. Compare yourself to the right thing

We already covered that comparing yourself to others is a recipe for disaster.

You will always find someone better than you at anything. But who cares anyway, right? What does their life have to do with you?

Instead, it may be a good thing.

Because why wouldn’t you just learn from them? 

I get it. You like to compete. But the best person to compare yourself to is who you were yesterday.

Focus on your process and growth, and you will be good at something – if not more things – in no time.

Step 4. Figure out who you are

Self-awareness is essential to living an extraordinary life.

Why?

Because when you know who you are, you can shape life most optimally for yourself. So, where do you have the edge?

Before you say: “I’m not good at anything and have no edge”, think about your personality traits, for example. 

Everyone has unique personality traits.

Then, figure out your strengths – which, btw, everyone has too. 

If you find that hard to believe, take one of the following tests (the results may surprise you):

• 7 Free personality tests
• Top 5 best strengths tests
• Free HIGH 5 Strengths test
• Personal SWOT analysis (self-assessment)

Though these tests are a great starting point, self-discovery is an ongoing journey. So make sure to practice it in your life regularly.

Step 5. What matters to you?

One of the reasons why people don’t achieve success is that they tend to give up when challenges arise, and setbacks occur. 

That’s why finding your purpose matters.

When you find why you do what you do, you can then overcome almost any obstacle that life throws at you.

Viktor Frankl talks about this idea in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning. By finding his why, he was able to survive – and allegedly thrive – as a prisoner during the Holocaust.

So just imagine what it can do for you too.

Finding something to fight for is a powerful source of motivation.

Learn more about finding your purpose.

Step 6. What interests you?

Combine your interests with your strength and purpose, and you have a pretty good recipe for becoming really good at whatever you choose to do. 

But what if you have no clue what interests you?

Then experiment.

Like we covered earlier, you’ve got time. And if you haven’t experienced too many flavors yet, spend the next year trying different stuff out.

Read about various topics.

Follow a couple of different courses.

Sign up for a yoga class or any other sports or hobby. Take a one-day or one-week workshop to immerse yourself in some interests.

Make a bucket list of things you would like to try. And then try it.

Step 7. Dive into one thing

Once you find something that interests you, you need to practice it long enough to get good at the basics.

In other words, dedicate yourself to it for some time.

Even if you found many different interests, pick the one that interests you the most for now. You don’t have to do it forever. You just have to do it long enough to give it a real shot, and in the process, you will become good at it.

30-day challenges are an excellent way to start practicing new skills. For example, say you’re interested in learning guitar. For the next 30 days, you decide to play the guitar for 30 minutes a day, whether you like it or not.

This challenge will help you through the initial phase of learning, which is often the most challenging.

Still don’t like it after 30 days? 

Then you can choose to quit. But don’t quit any earlier than the 30-day commitment you gave to yourself.

If you already know you want to commit to the skill, you can extend the duration of this challenge. For example, you may decide to participate in a boot camp that runs for half a year.

Sometimes, you just have to sit with the process a little while to let a new thing grow on you. And it’s also the only way to get good at anything in life.

Want a tip to learn new things fast? Then, pick up the book: Ultralearning.

Step 8. Set the right expectations for yourself

Heard of the 10,000-hour rule?

Malcolm Gladwell popularized it in his book: Outliers. The idea is that it takes you at least 10,000 hours of practice before you master anything.

In other words: 5 years of doing it 40 hours per week.

You see, everyone wants success – yesterday. Yet, almost no one is willing to go through the process to make it happen. Instead, we rather look for shortcuts.

But think about some famous names:

People like Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci, Vincent van Gogh, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Nikola Tesla, and more. 

They all achieved greatness because they were obsessed with their respected craft and spent several 10,000 hours on it.

Here is the point: 

Though you won’t always need 10,000 hours to become good at something, it’s still a good ballpark to keep in mind.

Why?

Because it sets the right expectation, which allows you to stay patient with the process – not focus on the final result.

And that is an essential ingredient to achieve success.

Step 9. Practice directly

Sometimes people tend to do all the right things – yet avoid the one thing that matters the most. 

For example, I recently read about someone who wanted to improve public speaking.

He would get up early, take cold showers, read about the topic, keep a journal, and watch videos. He would even go to conferences to see others speak and learn from them.

All nice and good.

Until you realize that he never spoke anywhere himself.

Wait… what?

You cannot expect to get good at anything if you don’t practice the very thing you want to get good at.

You learn fastest by doing.

You can study all you want about exercise and protein, but if you don’t go to the gym and do stuff, you simply won’t gain muscles.

Step 10. Ignore naysayers

Everyone has an opinion about everything. And if you listen to all those opinions, you’ll soon feel stuck and confused.

Opinions become dream killers if you listen to them.

Even so-called ‘experts’ in their respected field make the wrong judgments all the time. 

Take famous writers, for example. J.K. Rowling was rejected 12 times with her first book (she sold over 450 million copies, equal to 1 billion dollars). And Stephen King was also rejected over 30 times (he sold over 350 million copies). 

So even experts are wrong quite often.

That said, most judgment doesn’t come from experts. Instead, they come from random strangers and people that don’t know you at all.

But let me tell you this: 

Judging others is a sign of weakness.

I feel sorry for people who need to judge others because they must be in a terrible place to behave that way.

Do you believe that people who feel confident in their skin would spend their time and energy judging others? If you become confident, you won’t feel the need to judge.

Either way, here’s the point:

Don’t let any individual judge your talent or skills. 

Not even yourself or your mom. 

Over time, the market will decide how valuable your skills are. Unless you pursue it for fun, of course, at which point, none of this matters at all.

What if you’re really not good at anything?

I hope that by now, you realize that you can get good at some things if you really want to. But what if you still didn’t find anything that you’re good at?

To get a different perspective, ask other people what they believe your strengths are. 

Furthermore, keep exploring your interests. 

And when you find something that gives you a sense of meaning and joy, bite your teeth into it until you’ve mastered the basics.

Then you can no longer wonder, “Why am I not good at anything?”

Closing thoughts

The point of this whole article is to show you that “Why am I not good at anything?” is a false and disempowering question.

Instead, ask yourself: “What could I become good at if I wanted to?”

Though this is a step-by-step article to make the concept concrete and help you find what you’re good at, life never really works in a linear line.

So don’t see those steps as a one-time thing.

Instead, go through these steps often. Self-reflect on where you are. What did you learn this month, and how can you use it to make the next month better?

Finding your strengths and passions may take time.

But it’s a path worth pursuing.

If this article helped you on your way to exploring your interests and discovering what you’re good at, make sure to sign up for the newsletter so that you get more good stuff like it straight into your inbox!