Building Habits: 9 Proven Steps to Transform Your Life

Building habits is easy – if you learn to override your brain’s default mode.

What’s this default mode?

New Year’s resolution statistics offer insights. I bet you know someone who decided to start working out, did it a couple of times and quit a few weeks later…

It’s a typical pattern.

The initial excitement seduces us into the wrong but predictable behavior: going all out. And once the motivational rush wears off, we struggle to persist and often give up.

That’s unfortunate because habits power your life…

And creating one keystone habit can change everything.

In this guide, we’ll cover a step-by-step approach to creating new habits effectively and reducing procrastination. Once you learn this method, you can overcome any setback.

Let’s dive in!

• What are habits?
• Understanding the habit loop
• Why are habits important?
• Habits vs routines: The difference
• How long it takes to create a habit?
• 9 Steps for building healthy habits
• 3 Powerful tips for creating positive habits

What are habits?

Habits are the consistent behaviors or actions you perform almost automatically, often without effort or conscious thought. They reduce the need for decision-making, saving mental energy for other tasks.

Habits are your mental programs, promoting energy efficiency.

They can be positive and negative and significantly impact your physical and mental health, productivity, and relationships.

Here’s an inspirational list of good habits to have in your life.

Understanding the habit loop

Habits form through a process known as the habit loop. And becoming aware of this pattern increases your chance of building new behaviors and breaking bad ones.

Charles Duhigg clarifies the three stages of the habit loop in one of the best habit books of all time, The Power of Habits: 

1. Cue/Trigger
2. Response
3. Reward

Understanding how these elements affect habits enables you to manipulate them. Pick an old habit and think about how each variable impacts it.

#1: Cue/Trigger

The cue is the step that activates the automatic behavior. And many types of triggers can ignite a habit:

• Time: Set a specific time in the day, such as leaving work at 5 pm, as a cue for working out.
• State: Use emotional states as cues for actions. For example, write down your ideas when you feel inspired and take five deep breaths to calm yourself when you feel overwhelmed or stressed.
• Action: Use existing behaviors as cues for new habits, like drinking two glasses of water when making coffee.
• People: Use the power of social influence to impact your behavior, like working out with others or finding an accountability partner.
• Location: Use specific environments as cues for action, like having a designated office at home to trigger focused work.

Becoming aware of these cues helps you identify existing patterns. Very useful to create new behaviors and break bad habits. 

For example, if you want to quit smoking, it’s helpful to understand which cues cause you to light up a cigarette in the first place.

#2: Response

The cue sends a signal to the brain, which then takes action to:

• Move away from pain.
• Move towards pleasure.

Manipulate the sensation of pain and pleasure to make the response easier or more challenging.

You can use emotional leverage:

• Pain: Imagine the consequences of not making a positive change. 
• Pleasure: Use a vision board to make the benefits super obvious.

And you can use physical leverage:

• Pain: Not stocking on snacks makes binge eating much harder.
• Pleasure: Prepare clothes to make it easier to go work out.

Making the response easier or harder is a very effective way to break a bad habit or build an empowering one.

#3: Reward

The reward seals the deal and closes the loop, which comes in many forms:

• Internal: When you complete a habit, experience a sense of accomplishment, pride, or personal fulfillment.
• Physical: Treat yourself to something enjoyable as a reward for action, such as a small snack or relaxation.
• Social: Receiving recognition, praise, or support from a close friend, family member, or supportive community feels good.
• Progress: Use visual habit trackers and checklists, and celebrate progress to make habit completion even more fun.

Identify and choose what resonates with you. Meaningful rewards make changing habits more enjoyable and reinforce positive behavior.

Why are habits important?

Research shows that 43% of our daily actions are habitual behaviors.

And its main purpose is energy efficiency.

Imagine having to think about everything you do all the time. Even the act of drinking a glass of water would require a tremendous amount of thinking, muscle recruitment, and coordination.

Most habits are simply second nature to you.

While most habits serve you, some do not. And failing to review them and change habits that no longer serve you leads to inefficiencies.

Your mental programs need constant reviews and updates as any other software does.

Create positive habits, and you’ll enjoy more well-being, success, and fulfillment. Ignore your habits, and you’ll struggle to escape mediocrity.

Routines vs habits: What’s the difference? 

Actions and routines are closely related with a difference:

• Habits are single actions requiring little or no thought or effort.
• Routines are sequences of actions – with or without effort.

Most routines consist of a series of habits, requiring zero to a little effort to execute, like your morning routine and bedtime routine.

But routines also come before habits.

Using a daily routine is the most effective way to build a new habit because it provides clarity and structure.

So, a habit is an automatic, almost effortless action. And a routine consists of a series of actions – often but not always habits.

How long does it take to create a new habit?

You’ve now got a good understanding of the power of habits. And perhaps you wonder:

How long does it take to create a habit?

That’s a good question.

Here’s the common wisdom:

• 21-day rule: Plastic surgeon Dr Maltz observed that patients experienced initial discomfort with their new appearance. And it took approximately 3 weeks before they became used to their new appearance. He described his findings in Psycho-Cybernetics, which gave rise to the popular concept that it takes about 21 days to change habits.
• The 21/90 rule builds on top of the 21-day rule and is well–established in psychology. This rule states that the first three weeks are the most difficult. But to form the habit permanently, continue performing the action for another 90 days.
• Between 18 and 254 days, with an average of 66 days, is the latest time frame behavioral scientists discovered. This study also shows a lot of variation in the time people spend building habits.

In other words, it’s difficult to assume the exact time to form a habit. But there are known factors that impact progress.

Factors impacting the habit formation process

Many factors influence how long it takes to build a habit, and here are the most important ones:

• Commitment: The more you dedicate yourself to your habits, the easier it is to stay consistent, and the faster you’ll see results.
• Difficulty: Drinking more water is easier to achieve than abstract habit goals like developing a positive mental attitude.
• Exposure: The more often you practice an action, the faster it becomes habitual. Consistency is king when building good habits.
• Experience: Building a healthy habit is a skill. And once you grasp its concepts, it becomes easier to realize one behavior.
• Implementation: The more creative you are with the habit loop, the easier and faster you can build new habits.

Tinkering with these variables can speed up your progress.

That said, giving yourself a real shot is always a good idea. I commit for 2 months before I decide whether to stick with a habit.

9 Steps for building healthy habits

Building good habits can be challenging, especially if you’re starting. Increase your success by following this step-by-step approach: 

1. Identify your goals
2. Start small
3. Create a plan
4. Set reminders
5. Practice daily
6. Monitor progress
7. Celebrate milestones
8. Reflect and adjust
9. Build on success

Step 1: Identify your goals

The best habits should align with your biggest aspirations.

For example, I want to become a better writer and publish a book one day. That’s why my keystone habit is writing, which I prioritize every day.

What are your life goals?

List everything you want to learn, achieve, create, do, see, experience, contribute, and become.

Consider personal goals in all areas of your life, including health, wealth, career, relationships, spiritual, and personal development.

Step 2: Start small

Perhaps you’ve identified a gazillion goals and habits to develop.

And perhaps you feel fired up to go all-out.

I did too.

I wanted to start exercising, do breathing exercises, read, meditate, journal, and write for at least an hour every morning – all before starting my day job.

The result?

Overwhelm led to procrastination.

And I kept struggling until I reduced my habit stack to the bare minimum: drink water, make my morning coffee, read a little, and write.

I ditched the rest – at least initially.

Gary Keller explains that doing less often leads to better results in The One Thing. Focus increases clarity and reduces procrastination.

Finally, there are two effective routes you can take:

• Start with a simple habit like making the bed after waking. Then, use your momentum to begin the next, like journaling.
• Start with a keystone habit: Identify an essential practice with a positive cascading effect. For example, start exercising, and you’ll improve your mood, physique and trigger healthier eating habits.

There’s no best approach.

Try one, and if it doesn’t work, try the other.

But start small, especially if you’re just starting. And if you decide to go big instead, watch your mental state and scale down when you feel overwhelmed or experience chronic stress.

Step 3: Create a plan

Build an action plan outlining when, where, how, and how often you’ll practice the habit. The planning process cements your commitment and increases clarity, improving your odds of success.

It’s also an opportunity to prepare for obstacles.

What might stand in your way?

Say you want to go for a run every morning. 

One obstacle is getting out of a warm bed and finding your runner outfit in the cold morning. And preparing clothes in advance reduces friction, making it easier to execute.

Here are some additional tips to consider:

• Make your cues crystal clear: Remember the cue from the habit loop? Make them super visible. For example, make the end of your workday your immediate trigger to go to the gym.
• Make it super easy to do: Eliminate initiating action leading up to the habit to reduce decision fatigue. For example, take your workout clothes to work so you can go straight to the gym.
• Prioritize consistency: Phase your effort and prioritize frequent practice over high-intensity – at least until you form the habit.
• Plan for failure: Expect setbacks and create a plan to boost self-compassion and resilience when a failure occurs.
• Get back on track fast: Life happens, and no one is 100% consistent. Rather than beating yourself up when it does, continue the habit immediately.
• Have an accountability partner: Find someone who keeps you accountable. Or better yet, find someone on a similar journey and become accountability partners.

Plan to anticipate challenges and promote consistency.

Step 4: Set reminders

Not all habits are easy to remember, like cracking a smile in the morning or checking in with yourself throughout the day. 

And there are many more…

An effective strategy is to place reminders, alarms, and visual cues to prompt the habit. For example, remind yourself to check in with your seating posture by setting 30-minute alarms.

I use sticky notes and timers all the time for such actions.

Reminders serve as a helpful nudge to ensure you don’t forget or overlook your practice.

Step 5: Practice daily

Frequent and deliberate practice leads to permanent change. 

That’s why consistency is much more important than intensity, especially during the early phases.

For example, when I wanted to write in the morning, I wrote 2 days per week – and wrote a lot on those days.

As a result, I struggled to build the habit.

However, everything changed once I started writing 30 minutes every day instead of several hours in 2 days.

I did the same work.

But only the daily approach developed the habit.

Once I established my writing practice, I increased its intensity and scaled up to 1+ hour. The result? It’s now easy to sit down and write for at least one hour because it’s ingrained into my life.

The more you practice, the more often it reinforces the habit loop in your brain, and the faster you’ll cement the behavior change.

Pro tip: Prioritize consistency over intensity.

Step 6: Monitor progress

Tracking your progress increases motivation, especially if you make it enjoyable through gamification. 

Gamification means adding game elements to real-life situations to increase joy and promote consistency.

For example, start wondering what makes a simple game like Candy Crush so fun and addictive. And apply those ideas to your life.

How do I use gamification?

I attach points to my habits: Simple ones provide one point, whereas key habits offer multiple points. I track ten actions and tick off the box as I complete them, scoring points.

This simple addition makes progressing more fun.

And collecting points feels rewarding and motivates me.

Either way, habit tracking improves self-awareness, self-accountability, motivation, and consistency.

Monitoring options include:

• Goals on Track is the goal-setting and task-management app I use daily, including a habit-tracking feature. You can read my Goals on Track review here.
• Productivity planner with a habit tracker
• Habit tracker calendar
• Habit tracking apps
• Spreadsheets

Seeing visual progress encourages you to stay on track.

Step 7: Celebrate milestones

Acknowledge and celebrate your wins to boost motivation and reinforce behavior. Not only the big victories – but especially the small ones.

You see, many of us only celebrate big success.

But when you’re developing habits, you should implement rewards to reinforce positive actions – not just positive results.

For example, I would reward myself with an episode of my favorite Netflix series if I wrote for at least 30 minutes in the morning. 

And if I failed?

Then I would write in the evening.

You can also combine rewards with the gamification method from step 6. I would reward myself with an entire evening of relaxation if I scored more than 80% of the achievable points in a week.

Celebrate positive actions to strengthen your commitment.

Step 8: Build on success

One keystone habit can change your life.

Exercising was the first for me. And now it’s writing.

How would a positive habit stack transform your life?

Yes, begin small.

But once you cement the new habit, identify the next.

In Tiny Habits, Dr Fogg explains an easy tactic called chaining habits. Chaining habits means you use an existing habit as a trigger for new behavior. For example, taking a cold shower after exercising.

Ride the feel-good wave to kick start the next. 

James Clear calls this habit stacking in his book Atomic Habits.

Habit stacking leverages the momentum and confidence you gain from one habit to support the next. Continuously building on your success compounds progress and drives massive growth and results.

Step 9: Reflect and adjust

While stacking good habits is key to success and fulfillment, too many habits can become overwhelming and frustrating.

That’s what happened to me a couple of times.

For example, setting new goals can make old habits obsolete. They stop serving you or, worse, become distractions.

So it’s always good to review and reflect often:

• Do your habits still serve your goals, needs, and ambitions?
• Do your habits (still) have the desired effects and outcomes?
• And is every habit still a priority, or did it become a bad habit and interfere with – or take away time from – more important ones?

Assess and adjust your habit stack as you go.

3 Powerful tips for creating positive habits 

The step-by-step approach provides a solid foundation. But if you’re still struggling to build better habits, consider the following tips:

1. Adopt a new identity: Self-perception shapes your thoughts, beliefs, and actions more than anything. Accelerate your transformation by adopting the identity of who you want to become. For example, if you want to have the body and energy of an athlete, consider yourself one, and begin thinking and acting like an athlete.
2. Prioritize consistency: Consistent action is the main theme for habit building. And while most people go all out when they feel excited, phase your effort instead. Until you form the habits, prioritize the frequency of your practice over intensity.
3. Improve your environment: Consider your surroundings, including things, people, and the macro environment. For example, declutter your desk. And engage in a supportive and like-minded community. You could even consider moving if the same place keeps pulling you back into old behavior. Although the latter is a more drastic change, sometimes it’s just what’s needed to transform yourself.

These three tips were most effective on my journey.

The final tip that changed everything for me was to create a morning routine checklist. And I used a simple but effective program. You can read my Morning Ritual Mastery review here or enroll below.

Create Your Morning Routine in 7 Days

What’s next?

Habit formation is simple – but not always easy. Consistency is the hard part, especially once motivation and willpower wear off.

The key takeaways:

• Prioritize consistent action over intensity when building healthy habits (most people get too excited and turn these two around).
• Start small, focus on one, and make the action super easy to do.
• Everyone fails sometimes. But rather than beating yourself up, try again. The person who keeps bouncing back wins eventually.

Use this knowledge to your advantage. Start with a simple good habit. Then, build on your success and keep expanding your momentum.

Soon, you’ll transform your entire life.

Here are additional resources to check out:

• Goals on Track is a goal-planning software with an integrated habit tracker, perfect for aligning your habits with your goals.
• Morning Ritual Mastery Course by Stefan James
• Best habit books

Do you want habits for well-being, personal development, success, and fulfillment? Then sign up below to get the best tips and strategies straight into your inbox!