Imagine how you would feel in the following scenarios:
You want to go to the beach on your only day off, but it’s pouring rain.
You get injured while practicing tennis and can’t play in the upcoming tournament where you were the favorite to win.
Or the person you’ve been dating tells you that their feelings aren’t mutual and that the two of you should split up.
It sucks when these things happen.
But what can you do?
Almost anyone would get upset, right?
And that’s okay.
But how often do we get hung up in those situations? And how often do we get hung up over much smaller everyday stuff?
When you keep worrying about the small things, it reduces your happiness.
Now imagine that at any time, you could accept what is.
How would you feel when you could let go of your worries and frustrations at any moment? How would that change the quality of your life?
It would improve your well-being, right?
What if I tell you that you can accept what is at any moment?
In this article, you will learn exactly how you can tap into the power of acceptance. With a couple of practical tips, you will be zen-like in no time.
What Does Acceptance Even Mean?
When you accept what is, you recognize and acknowledge the reality of the current situation.
You become at ease with the past and aware of the moment. And when you’re at ease, life becomes a more joyful experience.
This doesn’t mean that you’ve to be okay with what has happened. When you get in a car crash, you can accept the reality and still feel upset about it.
It’s a mindset of: I’m not happy that this happened, but how can we move forward in the best way possible?
This is one of the greatest strengths you can own.
Think about it.
Say that you got in a car accident and it’s not very clear whose fault it was. The guy from the other car jumps out and starts screaming and yelling at you.
How likely are you to get upset with him and start to blame him for the accident?
Much more likely than when he would’ve stepped out and stayed calm, right?
You would feel much more inclined to get to an agreement if he stays calm. Especially if he would also ask you if you’re okay.
Learning to let go is a strength, not a weakness.
When you can accept what is, you have much more control over your life. This helps you to experience more satisfaction, happiness, and success.
How Can You Accept What Is?
The power of acceptance isn’t a big secret. For ages, people have known about the power of acceptance.
Take Buddhism for example. The first of four noble truths of the Buddha mentions that life is suffering. Pain, misery, and suffering are integral parts of life.
Though this sounds quite negative, it’s actually very empowering when you understand what it means.
The problem for most people is that they resist suffering. When people are upset, they often think that they shouldn’t feel that way.
We often only want to experience happiness and resist misery or discomfort.
Yet, by resisting the experience of suffering, we drive ourselves further away from happiness. Instead, accepting what is, is the fastest way to relieve yourself from suffering.
What you resist, persists.
– Carl Jung
Of course, this is easier said than done.
So how do you do it?
Step 1: Choose Acceptance
The first step is to realize that you’ve always got a choice.
But the choice isn’t whether you will experience suffering or not. Or when it will happen. Those things are not within your control.
What is in your control is your thoughts, attitude, and actions. Even while you experience suffering.
You can decide to resist suffering or accept reality as it is.
And don’t get me wrong. If you decide to accept what is, you won’t instantly feel happy again. That’s not how life works.
But at least you won’t extend your suffering for an unnecessary amount of time. When you fully accept change and the current reality, you heal much faster.
And before no time, you will be kicking ass again.
Step 2: Choose Growth
The second step also has to do with choice, but a simpler one.
You’ve got the choice to wonder why stuff always happens to you. And find reasons for why stuff always only happens to you.
Or you can wonder what you can learn from your experiences.
Most people choose the prior. It’s much easier to complain. Yet, it doesn’t take a genius to see that the second option is much more liberating.
The questions you ask yourself either keep you suffering or set you free.
When you focus on finding reasons “why” stuff happens to you, you will get the answers. But, if you wonder about possible solutions, you will find the answer too.
Become curious and look for the lessons you can learn in times of suffering.
When you do that, your focus shifts to look for solutions instead of reasons.
Step 3: Choose Positivity
Positivity seems to be quite a loaded word these days. Many believe in being more positive where others vouch for being a realist.
But one doesn’t have to go without the other.
You can strive for positivity and simultaneously be a realist.
In times of suffering, you can realize that you’re suffering. You can accept the fact that your life is miserable at that moment. Because the truth is, sometimes life does suck. And resisting it will only extend its duration.
At the same time, you can look for the positive in that situation. Is there a lesson or meaning that you can find during times of adversity? And how can you make the best from this difficult situation?
Positivity is nothing more than a perspective.
And your perspective is your choice.
Taking the Power of Acceptance to the Next Level
If you want to live up to your full potential, the simple 3 choices you’ve got already helps a lot. Because it’s the fastest way to end suffering and regain control back over your life.
But if you want to take the power of acceptance to the next level, you should build the habit of meditation.
Is this something you should do?
The big extra benefit of meditation is that it reduces stress, sharpens your focus, and can be very rewarding. Those who meditate often, describe the experience as transformative and joyful.
The only way to find out if you enjoy the rewards is through experience.
Here’s how you can dip your toes in the water:
Set a timer for 5 minutes. Sit or lay down like one of the examples in the picture below. And focus on your breathing for the full duration of this time.
Unless you’re a master of controlling your thoughts, your mind will wander off. Your thoughts will carry you away during this exercise. And in the beginning, it often takes a while to notice that.
Once you do realize that your mind is wandering, simply try to let go. Don’t judge yourself for thinking. It happens. Bring your focus back to your breath and repeat the process.
Final Words
Learning to accept what is, helps you to transform suffering into a meaningful experience. And when you tap into the power of acceptance, you also shorten the duration of discomfort.
But though the concept of acceptance is simple, it’s not easy.
Try to practice the choices you’ve got during difficult times. But also don’t beat yourself up if you can’t seem to accept the reality of the situation.
Nothing is mastered overnight but consistent practice makes perfect.
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