A big reason why we procrastinate is that we fear the outcome. What if you make a mistake or don’t like the result? Fear of the unknown is always on the loom.
Though you know that success lies on the other side of fear, it’s easier to shy away. It’s the brain’s automatic response to “dangerous” and uncomfortable situations.
What’s the last time you’ve experienced this type of fear? Was it when you wanted to approach a beautiful girl or boy to ask for their number? Or maybe you had to present something to your boss or a client?
When you allow the fear of the known to call the shots, it’s holding you back from creating the future that you desire.
But do you know that the fear of not knowing can benefit you too?
That you can turn this fear into a positive trigger for success?
In this article, you learn exactly how to do that. And once you’ve learned this skill, fear is going to help you to transform your life.
Key Take-Aways & Techniques
- Change your perspective to where fear becomes a trigger for taking action
- Write down your experience of fear to understand the pattern
- The trick is to become comfortable with the discomfort of fear
- Turn the sensation of fear into your trigger for taking action
The Fear of Not Knowing
Though some of us are willing to take more risks, we all love familiarity to a degree. But why do we love familiarity when we know that success lies on the other side of fear?
Why do we allow the fear of the unknown to push us back into our comfort zone?
To answer that question, you’ve to look at your brain.
Back when we were hunters and gatherers, there were real things to fear. Big predators could eat us if we weren’t paying attention. Even eating the wrong fruits could kill us.
You can see how the function of fearing the unknown was quite useful. It kept us from taking unnecessary risks that could cost us our lives.
But something has changed.
Most things you fear today aren’t life-threatening. But although life has changed in that regard, your mind is still very primitive. It doesn’t understand that getting outside your comfort zone is beneficial for you.
What this means is that you don’t fear the activity itself, but what happens next.
You’re not fearful of speaking in public, but the possible outcomes. The potential fear of failure and rejection. And this fear of the unknown is threatening your self-image and reputation.
Susan Jeffers summed this up quite well in her book: Feel Fear and Do it Anyway. She stated the following: our biggest fear is that we cannot deal with what happens next.
And that fear of not knowing what will happen keeps you from taking action.
It prevents you from quitting a job you dislike. It stops you from starting your own business that you’ve been thinking about for years. And it keeps you stuck in toxic relationships.
Fortunately, you can turn the fear of the unknown into a positive trigger for action.
Changing the Meaning
That people experience fear of the unknown, appears when you use Google Trends. A common fear is the fear of public speaking, so let’s see how other search terms compare to that:
- Fear of change
- Fear of failure
- Fear of public speaking
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of success
We search more often about the fear of failure and fear of change than we do about fear public speaking.
So it’s not surprising that we stay stuck with what’s familiar to us. If we’re terrified of change and failure, guess how much action you’re likely to take? Zero.
And at what cost?
- Experiences
- Skill development
- Self-confidence
- Great relationships
But how real are your fears of change or failure? Think about that for a second. Your mind makes up millions of different excuses about what could happen.
How many of those ever came to fruition?
Take public speaking for example. Think back to a moment when you had to give a presentation. How did you feel before that? What were your thoughts?
Did you think you wouldn’t survive if you failed? That everyone would reject you?
Those thoughts are often very irrational. Because have these thoughts manifested themselves into reality? Or was it not that bad after all?
Your fears rarely match up with reality.
Knowing that, could you change the meaning of your fear of the unknown?
You can.
And it’s a pretty simple shift in your psychology.
Think about it: fear of the unknown kicks in when you’re about to get outside your comfort zone. And you know that getting outside your comfort zone is key to success.
Shouldn’t you then embrace fear?
3 Easy Steps to Deal with the Fear of the Unknown
The problem with fear of the unknown is that most people have the wrong perspective. They want to reach a level of skill or experience where fear is no longer present.
But as long as AI doesn’t take over your brain, you won’t get rid of fear.
Fear of the unknown will always have a presence. It’s hardwired inside your brain. And your experience doesn’t make the fear go away.
Wait… why would you take action if the fear doesn’t go away?
The goal here isn’t to remove fear but to become comfortable with the sensation of it.
And once you become comfortable with fear, you can thrive despite it.
So how can you transform the experience of fear into your trigger for action?
Step 1 – Build a Foundation
The first step is to become aware of the process of fear. Because everything we’ve talked about comes together once you see the patterns yourself.
Understanding your psychology is like a game of chess. Learning theory doesn’t make you a master of it. But when you see the patterns in practice, you begin to improve.
And spotting those patterns demands some patience.
A great way to start developing self-awareness is by writing about your experience. Reflect on the first moment you experience fear up until it disappears again. These question can help:
- When do you experience fear?
- How long does it last?
- What thoughts occur?
- What happens to your physiology?
Understanding the patterns is a great initial step to overcome the fear of the unknown.
Now it’s time to create the habit of pursuing your goals despite fear.
Let’s say that the fear you want to conquer is public speaking. A good way to commit yourself is by picking up a book or course to improve this skill. But there’s also plenty of stuff for free.
Either way, get some insights into the basics like body language and tone of voice.
Then bring your knowledge into practice. Do this in a safe environment. In the example of public speaking, start by practicing in front of a mirror. Or record yourself with your phone.
Although you might feel silly, it’s much easier than facing a big crowd. And because you’re still in your comfort zone, this is a pretty safe way to become familiar with the unknown.
You can use visualization too.
Imagine as if you’re speaking in front of a crowd. How would you react if you make a mistake? How would you feel if everything goes great? Visualize it from every possible angle.
Do this every day to start building the habit of becoming comfortable with discomfort.
Step 2 – Increase the Intensity
Once you’ve gained some experience with discomfort, it’s time to level your skill up. After all, the real deal is what triggers your fear of the unknown, right?
You can still do this in small incremental steps.
With public speaking, you could speak up more often in bigger groups. Perhaps you’ve got team meetings at work where you could share something. Or you could attend a workshop or presentation and collect the courage to ask a question.
Whatever your level of comfort is right now, push a little outside that. It’s good to feel a little bit nervous. Just make sure that it doesn’t overwhelm you for now.
In doing so you expand your comfort zone and it grows larger and larger.
You can even involve other people.
Set goals around your dreams and communicate these with them. Let people know that you’re trying to improve and overcome your fear. Often, people will admire you even more.
Then, you want to make sure to follow up on yourself. As your comfort zone grows, seek new ways to become uncomfortable. Once you build this habit you’ll notice that you do this almost automatically.
That’s when the sensation of the fear of the unknown becomes your trigger for action.
Step 3 – Progressive Overload
There’s an important concept in building muscle and strength. It’s a concept called: progressive overload.
Your muscles adapt to the workload you use. And to grow, you’ve to ‘shock’ your muscles to keep stimulating growth. There are many ways to do this, like adding more weight, more repetitions, or increased time under tension.
And this principle doesn’t count only for building strength and muscle. The concept of progressive overload is great for any skill that you want to develop.
But doing so means you’ve to confront the fear of the unknown, right?
That’s exactly the point. This is the step where you become comfortable with fear to a point where you’re not even sure what you were fearful of all that time.
In public speaking, that thing is to speak in front of a big crowd. If you’ve approach-anxiety, it’s about approaching someone while they’re surrounded by their friends. And in your freelance business, it might mean charging more money for your service.
You’ve learned the basics. You have increased your practice. And now is your time to prove that you can perform despite experiencing fear of the unknown.
Here’s what will happen next.
Once you do this, you’ll become invincible. Yes, you might suck. You’ll have doubts. And people might laugh at you. But none of these possibilities is worse than letting fear determine your future.
Besides, you’ve got the experience now. You know that you can deal with what comes next. And you know that you can get back up, even if you get knocked down.
Conquer Your Fear
You’ve learned that the goal isn’t to get rid of fear. The goal is to push your boundaries. To slowly become comfortable with the sensation of fear. And once you’re used to that, turn it into your trigger for action.
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