Feeling Unfulfilled in life? Here are the 9 Common Reasons Why

Feeling unfulfilled is frustrating.

Do you feel like something is missing but struggle to find out what? And even if you discover the missing piece, change never comes easy.

I’ve been there too.

Although I felt frustrated as a teenager, through frequent self-reflection, I eventually discovered ways to create a more fulfilling life. 

And so can you.

In this article, we’ll cover the common reasons for feeling unfulfilled in life – and what you can do about it. 

The goal is to empower you to take the next step, generate momentum, and feel proud of yourself.

So let’s dive in!

#1: Unrealistic expectations

It’s no secret that technology increased the unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves. It made the entire world your competitive playground, not just your local community.

As a result, you never feel good enough.

It’s easy to find someone better, stronger, richer, more powerful, more successful, and of higher status than you.

Comparing yourself to others is a losing game.

And it always was…

You feel like you should be at point X but are only at point Y. And when your reality doesn’t meet your expectations, it leads to frustration.

And you will feel unfulfilled. 

That’s also why we look for shortcuts, quick-win tactics, and the “secret” to achieve results fast. But this recipe only leads to more dissatisfaction.

So, what to do instead?

Well, you should not lower your ambition or set easier goals.

Striving for big and audacious goals is a good thing. It’s great to be ambitious about life and go after your deepest desires.

But rather than getting caught up with the current results and outcomes, focus on the process and your personal journey.

For example, if you’re a content creator, emphasize skill progress and content creation, not the number of eyeballs your content gets.

While setting outcome-oriented goals is okay, your obsessions should be with the process. Looking at short-term “success” metrics is very common, but it often stifles long-term growth and success.

And it leads to more frustration and dissatisfaction.

Everyone is on a different journey. 

So stop creating expectations for yourself based on comparisons or the expectations of others. You are not them, and they’re not you.

Instead, pick YOUR PROCESS – and focus on getting better, not the results, if you want to feel fulfilled.

#2: Lacking self-awareness

I felt stuck but struggled to understand why for a long time…

In retrospect, the answer was quite clear. A lack of self-awareness was the primary factor that kept me feeling unfulfilled. 

Here’s why:

Rather than looking inwards and figuring out who I was and what I truly wanted, I looked at external factors.

For example, as an introvert, I wanted to be like my extroverted friends. 

I also felt external pressure to study after college, which I did. Although I graduated in Finance, I couldn’t care less about the degree and didn’t want to pursue a career in finance.

Instead, I was obsessed with poker and thought it was my ticket to success and freedom. But I focused on outcomes, not on the process…

And as a result, I felt more frustrated and unfulfilled.

What should I’ve done instead?

Explore the world and learn more about myself.

Increasing self-awareness leads to your unique voice and meaningful pursuits. And when you find your authentic path, you’ll attract the right people and opportunities.

Here are good starting points for self-discovery:

• Take one of the best (free) personality tests
• Discover your personal core values
• Uncover your personal strengths
• Find what you’re passionate about

#3: Not having a vision

Your struggles and challenges seem pointless if there’s no cause to provide meaning to your life.

And the lack of meaning is a leading cause of feeling unfulfilled.

A book I often mention is Man’s Search for Meaning. It’s about Victor Frankl, a captured jew during the Holocaust that worked in several Nazi camps, including Auschwitz.

His story is special because while most other captives gave up on life (and let’s be honest, who wouldn’t), Frankl thrived and experienced more freedom than his captors.

How’s that possible?

Frankl gained inner strength from two places. 

For starters, he hoped to see his wife again one day. And second, to finish his manuscript (which became the book I just mentioned).

The takeaway?

Finding something to fight for gives meaning to life’s inevitable struggles and challenges.

He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

– Friedrich Nietzsche

Even if you’re unsure what to do, having something to move towards is better than not moving at all. After all, action breeds clarity. And you can alter your vision when you gain more (self-)insights.

An effective purpose involves an element of personal fulfillment combined with a component of social contribution. 

For example, what change would you like to see in the world?

Learn more about finding your purpose.

#4: Your relationship with fear

Do you’ve got dreams or a vision but struggle to move forwards?

Unfortunately, the system never taught you to unlock your potential. Instead, it sets you up to comply and become an easily replaceable cog in the machine.

Stepping outside that machine is scary.

However, here’s the deal:

Fear is what you need to create a life you care about.

If you’re doing something that scares you and makes you uncomfortable, you’re on the right track.

Yes, you’ll experience setbacks and failures.

Yes, you’ll experience self-doubt and feel awkward.

But pushing through discomfort leads to self-confidence and a more meaningful and fulfilling life. There’s no greatness without fear and discomfort.

In other words, fear is a good thing.

So pursue and overcome your fear instead of avoiding it.

#5: Working as a means to an end

Most people only work for a paycheck. 

And unsurprisingly, 67% of people are feeling unfulfilled at work. 

If that sounds like you, that’s a problem. After all, work covers a large part of your weekly time and impacts your happiness.

What if you find meaning in your work? How would that impact the quality of your life?

But how do you find meaningful work?

Common advice is to find your passion and quit your job. But while that sounds great, it doesn’t work for 99.9% of the population.

Instead, here are better ways to stop feeling unfulfilled at work:

• Become part of a company with a mission that’s meaningful to you. What company fights for the change you would like to see? 
• Aim to become the best at what you already do. Continuous self-improvement is a great source of fulfillment.
• Start a side hustle if you struggle to find fulfillment in your career. That’s why I started Insideout Mastery, for example.
• Align your career with your values and desires. For example, if you value freedom, seek freelancing opportunities or a remote job.
• Initiate a project at work or jump on an opportunity and treat it like your baby.

There are many other ways to feel fulfilled at work. The takeaway is that it’s worth finding meaning in your work – even if that comes at the price of a lower paycheck.

#6: Stress, overwhelm and burnout

83% of Americans experience work-related stress.

While that may not surprise you, it’s a shocking number. Almost everyone experiences or knows someone who experienced burnout.

And that’s a problem.

Although we’ve gained many productivity tools, it hasn’t decreased our workload. Instead, it did the opposite.

So, what can you do about it?

While I don’t have a simple answer, I can share my experience.

There was a lot of stress in my previous job. And I gradually had less energy for my workouts and writing for this blog. That was an issue because those two items are high on my priority list.

My first lesson: find out what your priorities are.

I told my manager how I felt, and we established a portfolio of clients that were useful to the company but also gave me energy.

That’s the second lesson: communicate how you feel. 

However, I still needed more energy for my priorities. And together with my manager, we agreed on 32-hour workweeks. Of course, I was lucky with this opportunity and could afford it because I lived with my mom.

But here’s the final lesson:

Whatever it takes, make and keep your priorities your priority.

That often comes with sacrifices. Move back in with roommates or your parents if you struggle for money. And if you struggle with energy, stop certain activities or hobbies and focus your effort on what matters most.

Again, self-awareness plays a massive role here.

There’s no right or wrong approach, but it helps to identify what’s most important to you – and prioritize that.

#7: Lacking a sense of belonging

Are you feeling unfulfilled because you lack meaningful relationships?

We are social creatures, after all.

Even someone like me, an introvert who loves alone time, needs social interactions. 

One idea is to figure out what kind of life you want to build. And then create relationships that serve that vision.

For example, I love bodyweight exercises, continuous self-improvement, traveling, and entrepreneurship. And the people I’m most drawn to are those who share similar ideas and values.

But what’s next?

How do you develop meaningful relationships or become part of a wider community?

The secret is to give without expectation.

Often ask others how you can serve them (in pursuit of their goals).

Shift your focus from GETTING towards GIVING – and you’ll experience fulfillment and create many new friendships.

That’s not easy.

Most people serve others but expect something in return. And that often leads to frustration, especially when you encounter people who take advantage of your kindness. 

But when you genuinely serve and provide value to others, the act becomes a great source of fulfillment.

#8: Goal success

When I achieve my goals, then I will finally be happy.

Do you hold that belief? If so, you most likely will feel even more unfulfilled when you achieve your goals.

The end result is never the source of fulfillment.

There’s a reason why the most successful entrepreneurs in the world still work harder than the average Joe. And it’s not to earn more money. 

Instead, it’s the pursuit itself that provides happiness. 

Sure, achieving your goals is fun and often allows you to do what you desire. 

But ultimately, it’s the journey that matters – not the destination.

#9: Consumption

Materialism and ever-increasing consumption make capitalism work. But it also enslaves most people to their paychecks.

The frustration of this conventional system gave birth to unconventional lifestyles like the digital nomad and minimalism. 

The core ideas?

Find the essence of life – that which matters most to you. 

And ditch everything else.

It’s a simple but profound idea that I embrace too.

Sure, I would like a holiday house and travel first class. And I would if I could easily afford it. But I won’t design my entire life around obtaining those things.

After all, I also want to work out, improve my writing skills, develop meaningful relationships, and make a tiny difference in the world.

That’s what fulfills me.

And if I can easily afford to travel first class, I will do so. But that will come as the byproduct of my efforts rather than the main objective.

What does fulfillment mean to you?

And do you spend your money – but also your time and energy – in alignment with what satisfies you most?

What’s next?

Feeling unfulfilled in life can be frustrating. But understanding the underlying reasons empowers you to make positive changes. 

Key takeaways:

• Comparing yourself to others leads to dissatisfaction. Instead, focus on continuous self-improvement and seek to provide value without expecting anything in return.
• Self-awareness is crucial. Explore yourself and identify your purpose or create a personal vision statement.
• Seek meaningful work aligned with your core values, desires, and energy to experience career fulfillment. 
• Find fulfillment in the journey, not just in external success like material possessions. And embrace discomfort for real growth.

Here are more resources to enhance personal fulfillment:

• Best books about meaning and purpose
• Most life-changing books anyone should read
• Best journals with prompts for self-exploration
• Best self-care journals for self-improvement

Take action: Practice self-awareness by spending 10 minutes each day reflecting on your emotions, thoughts, and actions. Take note of patterns or triggers that may contribute to your feeling of fulfilment.

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