5 Strategies to Focus on What You Can Control – and How to Ignore the Rest

Do you often worry about things you can’t control, like the economy, the rise of AI technology, or other people’s expectations and judgments?

If so, you’re not alone.

The good news is that you can quickly regain personal power if you focus on what you can control.

And here’s how you’ll learn to do that in this article:

• First, a short quiz to learn what you can control.
• Then, we identify the areas that are within your control.
• And finally, you’ll learn 5 unique strategies to develop habits to control what you can control – and ignore the rest.

Let’s dive in!

Quiz: What can you control?

Learning your current perspective on things you can and can’t control is the first step to changing it. 

Below are 11 questions to test yourself.

Write down if you can or can’t control the following statements before reading this article. Better yet, also write down why you came to your conclusion. 

Retake the quiz after reading this article to see if your answers remain the same. Then, look up the answers at the end of this article.

Can you control the following?

1. You said something yesterday you wish you had never said.
2. You’re involved in a project but unhappy with the current change of direction.
3. Someone said you’re ugly.
4. You missed your deadline because your colleague didn’t submit his work on time.
5. The weather.
6. You’re involved in a car accident that isn’t your fault.
7. You caused a car accident.
8. The government raises the income tax.
9. A high college debt.
10. You’re getting older.
11. Your health in general.

Click here if you want to view the answers already.

What are the things you can control

When you’re struggling with life’s challenges, you can quickly become overwhelmed by the things you can’t control.

For example, it’s common to fixate on external circumstances, like the economy or the expectations of others. Past events are also outside your control – unless you’ve got access to a time machine.

Trying to control those factors leads to frustration and powerlessness.

Clarifying what you can control enables better actions and empowers you to make the changes to feel good again.

So, what things can you control?

• Attitude: While you can’t control what happens to you, you can always control your response. And it’s not the situation but your attitude that determines how you feel and act.
• Mindset: Your values, beliefs, and attitudes determine your world’s view and behavior. And while that seems to happen automatically, you can challenge and take control over your mindset.
• Effort: People often focus on results. But your effort is the only thing you can control. And when you aim to improve and become the best in what you do, you’ll feel more accomplished. Plus, you’ll eventually achieve the desired results as a byproduct.
• Free time: How you spend your free time makes a big difference in your well-being and what you can achieve. Do you spend your free time in alignment with your priorities and values? If not, that might explain why you feel unfulfilled in life.
• Breath: It’s a powerful tool we all possess, yet highly underrated. When people feel stressed, they take quick and shallow breaths. Taking deep, intentional breaths calms the nervous system and grounds you in the present moment.

5 Strategies to take control of what you can control

Focusing on external circumstances and past events leaves you feeling stuck and helpless. However, when you focus on what you can control, you can immediately change how you feel. 

In this section, we’ll explore five strategies to control what you can control while letting go of the rest.

Each strategy will focus on a different aspect. And if you apply the relevant techniques to your situation, you can create a more fulfilling life.

Strategy 1: The Morning Warrior

If you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed, finding the energy for what matters most is challenging.

I struggled with this, too, when work became too demanding. As a result, my energy decreased, and I found less time to write blog posts and work out.

What can you do about it?

One solution is to take control of your time early in the morning by becoming a “Morning Warrior”. 

The idea behind this strategy is simple: make your priority your priority by scheduling it early in your day. 

That’s when your motivation, willpower, and energy are high. 

For example, I used to wake up an hour earlier to write. 

For you, it might mean exercising, self-care practices like meditation or reading. Or if you feel unfulfilled at work, you can use this time to learn new skills and work on a personal project or side hustle.

Waking up earlier is the only challenge for most people.

Yet, most people stay up late watching tv, playing video games, or scrolling through social media. Nothing wrong with that. But if you want to take control of your life, reduce these activities so that you can go to bed one hour earlier instead.

You may struggle to adopt this new rhythm.

And that’s okay.

Because once you do take control of your morning, it will empower you for the rest of your day. You’ll feel better. And you’ll make progress in the areas that are most important to you.

Strategy 2: The Instant Relaxation Technique

When you’re in a stressful situation, overwhelm is often an obstacle to focusing on what you can control. 

Fortunately, there’s a powerful tool that you can use at any time.

And that’s your breath.

With the Instant Relaxation Technique, you use your breath to ground yourself and feel more relaxed immediately. 

Here’s how it works:

• When you feel overwhelmed or stressed, pause for a moment;
• Inhale for a count of four and expand your belly and chest;
• Hold your breath for a brief moment;
• Exhale for four, releasing any tension in your body;
• Briefly pause again;
• And repeat this process for five to ten cycles.

Every time you experience stress or overwhelm, you can use your breath to calm you down. And if you make stress and overwhelm the trigger to focus on your breath, it becomes a powerful habit.

It does take some practice.

At first, you won’t think about using the breath as a tool, especially during heated arguments and on-the-spot moments, like public speaking.

But you can start by practicing it in less urgent situations. 

Good examples include feeling overwhelmed while performing a specific task at work. Or after you end a conversation with someone who said something that upset you.

When focusing on your breath becomes a more automatic tool, you’ll notice that you can use it in more challenging situations.

And that’s when you’ll default into using the Instant Relaxation Technique to control what you can control at any moment – and feel empowered.

Strategy 3: The Stoic Way

The biggest battles happen within your mind.

And if you struggle to focus on what you can control due to self-limiting beliefs and negative attitudes, you’re not alone. 

In fact, I often struggle with it too.

And I’ve found that the best way to overcome it is by developing the behavior and attitudes of someone in control.

How?

Focusing on what you can control is a concept that was an important practice of the ancient Stoics, like Seneca, Epictetus, and the Roman emperor, Marcus Aurelius. They specifically believe that one should remain rational and calm during hardships.

So how can you become more Stoic?

While their philosophy provides a way, it’s unfortunately not a magic pill. Instead, if you want to attain inner peace, you’ll have to engage in consistent practices to adopt these attitudes, including:

• Reading Stoicism: I found that the best way to adopt Stoic traits is by reading Stoicism, which you can do in less than 5 minutes a day. It will remind you of the principles and empowers you to live them. Good books for this purpose: The Daily Stoic and Meditations.
• Accept reality as it is: The Stoics emphasized focusing on the present moment and letting go of attachment to any expectations.
• Negative visualization: Imaging worst-case scenarios prepares you mentally and emotionally for difficult times.
• Practice gratitude: Focus on what’s good and positive fosters a positive mental attitude that will make you happier.
• Journaling: A journaling practice is a powerful method for self-reflection. When you journal regularly, you increase your awareness of your most dominant thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, which enables you to gain more control over them.
• Simple living: Reducing your attachment to material things empowers you to focus on what matters most, like your relationships, purpose, and personal growth.

Adopt the Stoic Way to develop the attitude of someone in control of their life and circumstances, rather than a victim of them.

Strategy 4: The Momentum Maker

Are you stuck and unable to make progress on a goal? Or do you dream about the next step but struggle to take it?

The Momentum Maker strategy can help. 

And the critical element is to start small. 

Instead of taking on a big project all at once, break it down into smaller, more manageable steps. Doing so generates positive momentum that will motivate you to take the next step.

For example, if you want to run 5 miles every week, start with half a mile. Or if you desire to write 2 hours per day, start with 10 minutes. 

Does that sound ridiculously easy to do?

That’s the idea.

Breaking up your goal into the smallest possible action reduces the chance of procrastination. After all, if your step is small enough, you’ll feel ridiculous avoiding it.

Identifying the tiniest action suffocates all your excuses.

Once you build momentum and establish the habit, increase the distance, duration, intensity, or any other parameter.

But the priority is to get moving towards your goal rather than the size of the step you take. Create some positive momentum first.

Strategy 5: The Craft Mastery Method

People who fixate on outcomes and results (like wealth and fame) feel more frustrated than those who focus on their process (like any creative act or professional craft).

And if you fixate too much on outcomes, the Craft Mastery Method will help you to focus on what you can control.

Good news:

The paradox of focusing on your process is that you get better at it faster. And that means you can get better results faster.

However, it only works if you genuinely focus on mastering your craft – not the possible outcomes.

If you already follow a career path you enjoy, that’s great. The next step is to identify what skills will make you better and then develop them. 

How can you gain the edge at what you do?

Is there any untapped area you can specialize in?

However, if you lack a joyful career, you first want to identify a creative pursuit. Find your passion or an area in which you would like to excel. It could be writing, painting, coding, finance, or any other art or skill. 

Next, create a plan to improve your skills. Set goals and track your progress while celebrating minor improvements along the way.

For example, I wanted to increase my audience for Insideout Mastery and learned about Search Engine Optimization. Since I enjoyed that a lot, I landed an SEO internship at a marketing agency.

The catch?

I earned much less in this job than I could, with one related to my degree. But focusing on a craft that I felt more passionate about enabled me to develop valuable skills quickly.

Today, I use these skills to improve my blog.

And I also work as a freelance SEO specialist to pay my bills. 

That was only possible by finding and developing my craft first. If you want to achieve success in any area of your life, you want to get really good at that thing first.

And that’s what the Craft Mastery Method is all about.

Besides gaining control over what you can control, like your daily effort and progress, you’ll feel more fulfilled.

Quiz answers

The short answer to all the questions is no, you can’t control any of them. Below, I’ll mention the questions again and clarify my answer.

1. You said something yesterday you wish you had never said. You cannot change the past, but you can negate any damage caused, apologize, or clarify what you meant to say.
2. You’re involved in a project but unhappy with the current change of direction. While you can try to influence decisions, ultimately, you can’t make them in this situation. What you can do is that despite the change, give the project your best effort.
3. Someone said you’re ugly. You never control what others say about you. And learning to let go of the opinions and judgements of others is one of the most important things you can do to set yourself free. Besides, it says more about them than you.
4. You missed your deadline because your colleague didn’t submit his work on time. Missing a deadline because of others is frustrating. And while you can influence others, you never control their actions. The only thing you can control is what you do next.
5. The weather. While people apparently can and do modify the weather, it’s unlikely that you’re one of them. 
6. You’re involved in a car accident that isn’t your fault. When someone causes a car accident, all you can control is how you respond after it happens. And while you may be angry, venting to the other person will never benefit the situation.
7. You caused a car accident. While you did control the car, it’s a done deal after you crashed into someone. You can’t go back into the past and change it. The only thing you can control is what to do next.
8. The government raises the income tax. While your vote matters, you never control what the government does. But you can figure out what your options are and act on them.
9. A high college debt. This is a tricky one. While you could control it by paying it off in theory, in practice, people who have debts are not in such a position. Instead, focus on increasing your income, keeping your expenditure low, or both.
10. You’re getting older. This question has arguably two correct answers. Your chronological age will never go down. And that’s the one implied when talking about age. However, you can control your biological age (the age of your cells) to a degree with good health habits.
11. Your health in general. You could answer this question with yes, depending on your clarification. Sure, you can reduce risks, work out, eat better, and the likes. But still, many people experience health issues and diseases that are outside their control.

I hope this quiz helped you to gain more clarity and insights into what you can control.

Conclusion

You want to focus on what you can control if you want to live a fulfilling life, especially when you feel overwhelmed and stressed. 

The first step we took was clarifying what you can control. And that includes your attitude, mindset, effort, free time, and breathing.

Then we covered the following five strategies to control what you can control – and let go of the rest: 

• The Morning Warrior: Make your priority your priority by taking action during the first hour of your day.
• The Instant Relaxation Technique: Use your breath to take back control at any time, specifically during stressful situations.
• The Stoic Way: Develop the attitude and mindset of someone in control, like the ancient Stoics.
• The Momentum Maker: Make the action so small that taking action is the only logical and emotional option.
• The Craft Mastery Method: Focus on the process of developing yourself and your skills rather than the results you seek to maintain control, get better, achieve success, and live a fulfilling life.

Yes, it can take time and effort to implement these strategies. But nothing worth pursuing in life comes easy.

Remember that when you commit to this journey. And remember it again when you face the inevitable challenges and setbacks.

Focus on what you can control if you seek fulfillment and success – and let go of the rest.