Have you always wondered what the most important principle in human interactions is? How is it possible that some people are so successful in their social life, while others are struggling to get around? Although some people are natural at this, you too can improve your social skills and in fact, it’s easy!
Tips For Improving Relationships
There are many books written on the topic of understanding emotions, relationships, and improving people skills in general. There are countless numbers of tips and ideas on how to improve your social skills. What are some practical tips that you can start using straight away, without too much effort?
- Listen attentively
- Focus on understanding the other person
- Be curious about other people’s interests
These are all tips that are very easy to follow but at the same time also easy to forget. It takes some conscious effort to improve your social skills. That’s because you try to remember everything while you’re having a conversation.
Can You Improve Your Social Skills?
Of course, you can improve your social skills. And it’s quite easy actually!
The trick is to remember all the simple principles of improving social interactions.
But how do you do that?
To find that answer you must ask yourself the question; when do you like someone?
When I first started my new job as a registration officer, I was super excited. I started out doing the basic registrations were no errors occur.
The job was great and I was working hard to develop myself. I started to get the hang of my new job.
I didn’t expect to do more difficult jobs, as I was only assisting temporarily. Besides, the other registrations require more knowledge and you need to dig deeper for answers.
One morning I went to see my manager because we ran out of registrations for that. The standard route was for me to jump on the next day.
But not this time.
My manager caught me by surprise and told me to stay on the same date – and continue with the difficult registrations.
I was nervous to do this as I had never done these before.
But at the same time, I was super happy. My manager trusted in my ability to do this!
A feeling of importance shot over me.
Most Effective Way To Improve Your Social Interactions
There are so many moments that people make you feel important. Try to think of moments that you felt important. Who gave you this feeling and how did you feel afterward?
Surely, you felt great towards this person. It felt like this person was your best friend, or at least for that moment.
If someone can make you feel more important, it feels like they’re your friend.
It’s a win-win situation.
The key principle to improve your social interactions is to focus on making the other person feel more important.
If you can only remember this element, everything else will fall into its place.
Dale Carnegie On Making Others Feel Important
Dale Carnegie describes this principle in his book: How to Win Friends and Influence People. There are many principles of communication. But if you can only remember one principle for successful relationships, it is to make the other person feel more important.
Focusing on this single principle empowers you in your social interactions.
You can start doing this by smiling at other people. If you’re willing to invest a little bit more, have a genuine conversation.
Not only is this great for yourself, it’s also good for the other person. In the end, you’ll both have a greater feeling of fulfillment.
Focus On Win-Win
What if that morning my manager would have said the same thing as before.
“Continue with the next day, please.”
What would that have done to me?
To be honest, it wouldn’t have done a single thing. It wouldn’t have been either a bad or good experience.
And that’s the problem when you want to take the social interaction to the next level.
Most human interactions are neutral or focused on a single win. True win-win situations change your relationships and your life.
Have a look at your own actions-did you ask how the cashier was doing today when you bought your groceries?
Most of us are so caught up in our own heads, that we simply fail to do that.
But it is the quality of our relationships that brings us the most satisfaction in life.
If there is only 1 thing that you should remember in every social interaction, it’s to make the other person feel important. Once you use this simple principle, the quality of your life will skyrocket.
If you think that this is a secret that turns around your life – you’re right.
But you need to focus on the implementation.
I’ve tried to use this simple rule by giving people a bit more attention and it works wonders.
The biggest challenge is that we’re all humans after all and often fail to bring simple things into practice.
Exercises To Improve Social Skills
How do you shape a habit out of this simple principle? It’s often most difficult to live by our standard principles and easy guidelines.
That’s why you need certain triggers to make sure it sticks. Do the following things to trigger your memory:
- Set alarms throughout the day – label them: make someone feel important.
- Hang up sticky notes on your desk.
- Every time you walk into a new room think about how you can make someone inside feel more important (you might have to get used to this one, but it works!)
- Everytime you touch someone thinks about making them feel more important (eg. handshakes, hugs, etc.)
Implementing these triggers into your life will help you to remember the simple principle. These triggers melt into your brain and before you know it, it becomes a new habit.
When was the last time you felt important? And how did you feel towards this person?
Did he feel like a true friend, or at least at that moment? That’s where the secret lies.
If there is only one thing that you can use to skyrocket your relationships, it’s to make other people feel important.
Simply doing this creates a win-win situation. It makes the other person happy and you gain more influence.
Who are you making feel more important today…
Share this article with your spouse, a friend, a colleague, or anyone who you want to make feel more important!
Together we can all strive for win-win solutions and make the world a better place.