7 Signs that Reveal Low Self-Awareness

Lacking self-awareness sucks.

Without awareness, you are likely to feel stuck, frustrated, and disconnected from yourself and others. 

I can relate… 

It took me a long time to discover that I lacked self-awareness. But once you make that discovery and become self-aware, it will improve many aspects of life.

In this article, you will learn how to spot some key signs that reveal a lack of self-awareness.

Let’s dive in!

First, what causes a lack of self-awareness?

Lacking awareness means a shortage of truthful information and insights. Thus, a lack of self-awareness means a deficit of self-knowledge and personal insights.

What causes it?

Birth essentially, since everyone starts without self-awareness. 

Unfortunately, most schools don’t teach this stuff. Even though everyone would benefit from learning how to become self-aware.

So if no one else taught you how to self-reflect or how to use other tools to increase self-awareness, then you will have to figure it out yourself.

A good starting point is this article, so let’s get into the signs.

Sign 1: You become defensive or passive-aggressive

When you disagree with someone, do you either react defensively or in a passive-aggressive manner?

These are clear signs of low self-awareness.

This behavior often happens when you feel the need to protect your identity. You have made up an image of your “ideal” self and when someone threatens it, you lash out.

When you are self-aware, you won’t feel the need to react that way.

Because when you are self-aware, you know your truths. And you also understand that everyone sees the world through a different set of filters.

A true understanding of those two things sets you free.

Instead of feeling threatened, you open up and appreciate the perspective of others. This attitude towards other people’s perspectives also increases your self-awareness.

Sign 2: You don’t understand yourself

It seems obvious that if you don’t know yourself, you are also not self-aware.

But while it may seem obvious, there is a big difference between not understanding yourself and knowing that you don’t understand yourself.

Throughout my teenage years, I had many question marks about life in this respect.

• Why do I feel empty?
• Why do I feel alone?
• What do I want?
• What is the point of life?
• Why do I feel trapped?
• How am I so frustrated?

It took me many years and lots of struggles to find – or better said: stumbled upon – the answers. And discovering how ignorant I was, led to the most meaningful journey I’ve gone through.

So ask yourself honestly: how well do you know yourself?

It is okay to not understand yourself.

In fact, the struggle you experience today can become your superpower later in life. For now, become curious about yourself and don’t give up on your quest for self-discovery.

Sign 3: You seek approval from others

Do you make decisions that are best for you or the ones which other people approve of?

In other words, are you too afraid to make a change because it might hurt the feelings of others?

That’s a sign of low self-awareness. 

For instance, say you don’t want to work anymore in your current job. You want to make a career switch into something that makes less money, which others would not approve of. 

And thus, you stay in the job that you dislike…

When you care about how others perceive you, you will never live the life you desire. Not only will it affect you but also your relationships.

But let’s say it’s your family that disapproves of your decision. What do you do then?

Look, if you ask me the answer is simple: 

Only you know what is the right thing for you.

Everyone is trying to figure life out. And you should not let others make the decisions for you, based on their values and perspectives on life. After all, it’s only their perspective.   

Sure, take their perspective into account. Listen to what they have to say. But know that ultimately, you are the one who has to live your life – not anyone else.

Sign 4: You have difficulty saying “I don’t know”

If you struggle to admit that you don’t know stuff, that’s a sign of lacking self-awareness.

Here is why:

Awareness is more about knowing what you don’t know than it is about knowing what you do know. Because there will always be much more stuff that you don’t know anything about.

Even in the areas in which you devote your time, like your career, you still won’t know everything.

Admitting it when you don’t know something isn’t a weakness – it’s a strength. It requires a lot of courage, awareness, and honesty to admit you don’t know everything.

Know that you know almost nothing – just like everyone else. The faster you find out what you do and do not know, the better you make decisions, and the better your life becomes. 

Sign 5: You identify with your thoughts and emotions

Do your feelings and thoughts define who you are?

For example, if you get angry, do you believe that you are just a mad man? Or when you experience negative thoughts, do you believe that’s because you’re a negative person?

These are signs that you’re not self-aware yet.

The underlying problem is that this pattern is a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

Your beliefs create your experience. And your experience then reinforces and strengthens your beliefs. Thus, once you get stuck in this negative loop, it becomes difficult to get out of it.

So how can you get out of it?

By realizing that your thoughts and feelings are only instruments that guide you. And not instruments that define who you are. 

So rather than letting your thoughts control you, learn how you can control your thoughts.

Sign 6: You complain, blame, and make excuses

Say that you and your friend see a guy who drives the most expensive and exotic car on the planet. Your friend complains about what a douchebag that guy is and how he must have rich parents. 

Think about what this message implies.

Does it say something about the guy? 

Probably not, right? Who knows, perhaps the guy is a douchebag and has rich parents. But chances are just as likely that it is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. 

After all, Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson drives one of those exotic cars, called the Pagani Huayra. And I doubt that many people think he is a douchebag.

So what do complaints and excuses really say?

It screams a lack of self-awareness.

Often, there are underlying issues that you either try to avoid or are not aware of. In both cases, having a real good look in the mirror is a good starting place.

What else can you do about it?

When you notice that you fall into the tendency to complain, blame, or make excuses, make a mental note of it. Then, take some time to sit alone and reflect on it.

Don’t punish yourself for having those thoughts. 

Simply become aware of them and become curious as to what the underlying message could be.

Sign 7: You believe everyone else is wrong all the time

Do you feel that you are right and others are wrong most of the time?

Here’s the thing: 

You see stuff from your perspective. Others see things from theirs. And in most cases, you are both right and wrong at the same time.

If you want to become aware, you have to listen to the perspectives of others.

Because if you feel like you are always right, you won’t open yourself up. And how are you ever going to increase awareness if you’re not open to new insights and perspectives?

Instead of saying; you are wrong, say; that’s an interesting perspective.

What’s next?

Lacking self-awareness causes you to feel trapped, frustrated, and disconnected from yourself and others. Self-awareness is one of the most essential for personal growth and fulfillment. 

Key takeaways:

• Low self-awareness stems from a lack of self-knowledge, personal insights, and experience and wisdom in general.
• Know that it’s okay to struggle with yourself. Becoming self-aware contains many layers and is a lifelong pursuit.
• Becoming self-aware is a continuous effort of self-discovery and self-reflection. Start your practice today with these questions to ask yourself.

Take action: What sign resonates with you? Create a small plan of action and commit to working on it for the next week.

Dive deep with the following resources:

• Best self-awareness books
• Best guided journals to try
• Best free personality tests to take
• Best self-help journals for self-care
• Review of Truity, the best online assessment provider

Do you want to enhance your self-awareness and live your most authentic self? Sign up below to receive my best personal growth tips to create a more fulfilling and meaningful life!