Do you believe that accepting personal responsibility causes more stress and anxiety?
Funny enough, quite the contrary is true.
When you accept personal responsibility, you set yourself free. It relieves you from a lot of stress and anxiety. And it is the fastest way to reclaim control over your life.
Viktor Frankl proves this to be true even in the most extreme conditions.
In 1942, the Nazis captured Frankl and deported him to work in various concentration camps. But despite these conditions, Frankl had the tools to stay sane and survive.
As a neurologist, he understood that we always have the choice to take personal responsibility.
And by making that choice – despite captivity – he experienced more freedom than some of his capturers.
How does that work?
You will learn about that in this article. And you will also learn how to take charge of your life – no matter what your current situation is.
Let’s dive in!
What is Personal Responsibility
Personal responsibility or individual responsibility means that you are responsible for your actions. That means how you react, what you do, and what you say.
This is different from the definition of responsibility. Which often refers to accountability for something or being responsible over someone, like a leader or a parent has.
To understand personal responsibility even better, you must understand the two types of personal responsibility:
- Proactive responsibility: means having a proactive approach in general.
- Reactive responsibility: defines how you respond to situations, especially challenging ones. Often towards other people but also yourself.
Proactive and reactive responsibility are crucial if you want to take charge and build a better life.
What it Means to Be Responsible
What do most people do when they get irritated by events or other people?
Most would immediately blame and complain, right?
And they’re the right to do so. Yet, no one – including yourself – is better off for it. Quite the opposite is true. You take your freedom away when you do that.
Take the story of Viktor Frankl.
Though captured by the Nazis, he took extreme responsibility for his life. Instead of getting mad or upset, he tried to help his inmates and made jokes. He even became “friends” with some of the Nazis during that time.
Imagine that for a second.
Imagine that the Nazis capture you, separate you from your wife and kids, and force you to work hard under extreme conditions. You face constant uncertainty on whether you will live or die. And you never know if you will see your wife and kids again.
How often would people give up in such situations?
The answer: almost everyone.
Of course, this isn’t surprising in one of the most depressing and dehumanizing settings.
The question is: why did it not affect Frankl?
First, he believed that life still had a purpose and that there was meaning in his suffering. And so, he took personal responsibility for his attitude, behavior, and actions.
As a result, he was a loved man within the camp.
And here’s the best part:
Some of the Nazis only did what they did because they were too fearful of the consequences. Mentally, they were captives themselves. And though they could go home at the end of the day, Frankl was considerably more free than they were.
The point of the story?
You’ve got an incredible amount of personal power if you only take responsibility for it.
Want to read the incredible story of Viktor Frankl? You can find his book here.
Benefits of Being Responsible
The story of Viktor Frankl shows the incredible power of personal responsibility. It’s the difference-maker if you want to stay in control and build a better future.
And though responsibility might sound scary, the benefits are transformative.
Benefit 1: Better Focus and Creativity
The irresponsible person looks for someone to blame or complains about problems. Instead, the responsible person acknowledges those things and seeks a solution.
And when you focus on finding a solution instead of a scapegoat, guess what happens? You become more creative, have better focus, and stay more positive. On top of that, you also become a more enjoyable person to be around.
Benefit 2: More Self-Control
Personal responsibility is more like a mindset shift than anything else. And when you make that shift, you’ll find it much easier to control yourself in tough situations.
Responsibility helps you to navigate yourself through challenging situations. Because when a challenge appears, you fall back on the habits you’ve built over time. And with the habit of responsibility, you will behave better and look for solutions.
Benefit 3: Achieve More Goals
No matter how prepared you are, life will throw you a curveball every once in a while. The question then isn’t how to avoid those, but how fast you adapt to the new reality.
In other words, when you get knocked down, how fast can you get back on your feet?
When you no longer look for a scapegoat but accept responsibility, you focus on the stuff you can control. You focus on finding solutions and moving the ball forward. And that’s how you will succeed more and experience happiness too.
Benefit 4: Freedom
Blaming someone or something is a great way to take your own freedom away. Because think about what happens when you blame or complain?
In essence, you’re communicating to yourself that you’re not in control. That you can’t change the situation. That only if external circumstances change, you can move forward.
It’s the easiest way to live your life.
Yet, waiting for external circumstances to change is also quite depressing. Especially if your livelihood depends on it.
Though taking responsibility is more difficult, it’s also the only way to set yourself free. As a responsible person, you are in charge of your life and future.
Benefit 5: Joy & Happiness
Imagine that you get into a car accident that isn’t your fault. You’ve now got two simple options.
Your first option is to vent and blame the other person.
And though you’ve got all the reasons to do so, imagine how it makes you feel. You never feel much better after getting upset with someone right? Nor does it solve the situation.
There are no winners in those situations.
Instead, taking responsibility reduces stress and increases happiness.
Sign You Might be Avoiding Responsibility
The opposite of a responsible character is the victim. And the victim mentality is one of the most disempowering mindsets that you must stay away from.
People who feel victimized experience that the whole world is against them. They have a harder time trusting and forgiving people.
Worse yet, they look for consistent evidence for why they can’t progress in life. And you seek what you find for. In this case, evidence that grounds you in disempowering beliefs and victimhood. With disastrous consequences.
How do you know if you’re avoiding responsibility and currently in the role of the victim?
Complaining
If you complain a lot, this might indicate that you’re not taking responsibility. Surely, you’ve got valid reasons to complain. But because you do have valid reasons, doesn’t mean you should complain.
Complaints never get you anywhere. It only spreads out negative energy to both yourself and the people around you.
You may be thinking: don’t we all complain sometimes?
And of course, we do! It’s very human and you shouldn’t stress out when you do this.
The difference lies in the frequency at which you do it. Because when complaining becomes a habit, that’s when it’s becoming a problem.
Blaming
When you blame other people, you take no responsibility. Yes, others may indeed be at fault. And yes, you might have valid reasons to blame. But what are you getting out of it?
More importantly, what is the price you pay?
Though others may be at fault, you’re still responsible for the way you react and behave. And treating fire with fire isn’t the most effective way to move forward.
At least, not if you want to choose happiness and achieve more success.
Making Excuses
Making excuses is the final clue that you might be avoiding responsibility. This one is more sneaky since excuses are often unconscious mental notes you make.
Of course, some excuses are valid too.
Maybe you do lack the expertise to do a specific job, for example. But instead of avoiding the task altogether, find someone to help you. Or find a way to get the expertise you need.
That’s the responsibility that will get you far in life.
3 Easy Steps to Accept Personal Responsibility
You now know what personal responsibility means. And maybe you are already aware of the moments when you’re avoiding it.
The next step is to develop the habit.
How can you start taking more responsibility?
Though there are many ways, let’s focus on the foundation of personal responsibility. With that, you already set yourself up for massive success and happiness.
Step 1: Practice Self-Awareness
The first step is always awareness. Fortunately, the signs of avoiding responsibility are pretty easy to detect.
The problem, however, is that most people notice when they complain or blame. Yet, instead of being responsible, they unconsciously seek to validate the complaints.
This happens to everyone, including us.
The difference is that with self-awareness, you become more conscious that you do this. And when that happens, you can now decide to make a shift and take responsibility.
So how do you practice self-awareness?
By reviewing or better yet, journaling about your day for example.
Go over the moments of your day. What were moments that you did not take responsibility? Did you complain that day? And did you say stuff you shouldn’t have said?
Though you can no longer change the past situation, you do plant a seed of consciousness. When you do this often enough, you begin to see new patterns.
And when you do, you can then interrupt and change them.
Although developing self-awareness takes time, it’s worth the effort.
Step 2: Ask Yourself Better Questions
You will always find answers to the questions you ask yourself. And the answers you get, determine your focus. You can use this simple idea to empower or disempower yourself.
The problem with questions is that many people ask themselves the wrong ones. Think about stuff like: why does this always happen to me? Or, why can’t I do this?
Your mind will try to answer those questions. And generally, it does a pretty good job at finding some answers. Unfortunately, not the ones that empower you in this case.
Now imagine changing the questions you ask yourself. For example, how can I make the best out of this situation? Or, what is a small thing I can do today to move closer to my goals?
You will find answers to those questions too.
Want to experience the power of questions? Go over each of the questions for about a minute or so. And then note the difference between the quality of the answers you get.
When you accept personal responsibility, you start asking yourself better questions. But until you do, this works the other way around too.
When you practicing to ask yourself better questions, you will develop personal responsibility.
Step 3: Do the Stuff You Say You Are Going to Do
Here is a final simple idea: when you say that you’re going to do stuff, do it. Both the promises you make to yourself as well to others.
Doing so builds trust and confidence. Both in yourself and your relationships.
Of course, sometimes you will have to make concessions. Maybe you can’t make a deadline you set. Or something unexpected happens that makes you fail to deliver on your promise.
When this affects other people, communicate it proactively. And when you do, also come up with a solution.
When it only affects yourself, think about solutions too. The idea is to not find an excuse, but make a new promise to make up for it. And then make sure to follow up.
Taking personal responsibility by following up on your promises develops trust.
Final Thoughts
You’ve learned what personal responsibility is and how it benefits you in your life. And now that you’re equipped with three easy steps, you can proactively develop personal responsibility.
Remember that becoming responsible is a process that takes time and effort. And also understand that you can still make mistakes. You’re human after all.
But with some practice, you are certain to enjoy more happiness, success, and personal freedom.
To help you go the next mile, here are 9 great ways to take responsibility.