It’s not easy to change or build new powerful habits. You’ve likely given up at some point with your habits and it made you feel terrible. Let’s prevent that from happening forever! But how can you start good habits?
First, we look at why most people fail to build new positive habits. Then it’s time to get your hands dirty and sharpen your mindset in 4 simple steps.
Why People Fail To Start Good Habits
People fail to build their habits for several reasons. The problem is that when people fail, they often blame the wrong reason.
The result is that they feel even more disempowered because they can’t change it.
You’ve to focus your attention internally and ask yourself the question …
Why Do You Want To Change?
This question is often very confusing. Isn’t it obvious why you want to change?
But think about it, do you really know? What is your motivation?
Because if you don’t have this clear for yourself, success is going to be difficult.
Roadblocks are going to be in your way. The journey isn’t going to be a straight line and if you don’t know how to deal with setbacks, you’ll lose.
You Don’t See Immediate Results
In our society entertainment is on-demand and everywhere. Unfortunately, life-changing habits take time to build. There is no quick fix or pill that can do this for you.
You’ll have to adopt the marathon mindset to start good habits. This long-term mindset is key for your self-mastery in general.
You Rely On Willpower
The willpower trap has made many victims. Too many people rely completely on their willpower and neglect the fact that willpower isn’t an infinite resource.
You want to use willpower to your advantage when you still have plenty of it but don’t use it as your only tool. Learn what you can do to prevent failure in obtaining new habits in this article and increase your chances of success.
And now, let’s dive into the…
4 Steps To The Success Habit Mindset
How do you start good habits? There are some important factors that go into building powerful habits.
But most importantly is the question: why do you want to build this habit?
The reason why you want to build the new habit can make the difference between sticking through until the end or giving up.
It’s important that you have some emotional intensity behind your motivation. If you’re experiencing enough pain in your life, you’ll do everything to move away from this feeling.
So in order to do that, you’re going to attach high amounts of pain to not changing the habit.
Are you ready to adopt a new mindset?
Step 1: Get Clear Why
Why do you want to build this new habit?
Your motivation is the key to sticking through until the habit has completely formed into your life.
The beginning of a habit is the most difficult part to get through.
Grab a piece of paper and create 2 columns. In the top, you write the habit that you want to create. Then on the left side, write down the pain you feel if you won’t succeed. On the right side, write down what pleasure you gain if you do succeed.
As an example to start good habits, we’ll use working out. You can write it like this:
|Pain From Working Out||Pleasure From Working Out|
|Gaining More Weight||Feeling Great About Myself|
|Unable to Hike With Friends||Increases Internal Health|
|No Energy Throughout the Day||Feel Super Fit During the Day|
|Feeling Bad About Myself||Get Into Good Shape|
|Extremely High Anxiety Levels||Learning New Skills|
|No Confidence||Improves My Sex Life|
|Do All Activities With Friends|
|Unlimited Levels of Confidence|
Now it’s your turn. Write as many down as you can.
Did you do it? If not, grab a piece of paper and start writing now.
Good! You’ve listed everything that can give you pain to not implementing the new habit and pleasure of adopting the habit.
How can you use this further?
Step 2: Make It Intense
The second step is to feel the emotions. You want to create powerful references in your mind that stimulate you to keep working on your new habits.
You want to connect high amounts of pain for not sticking with the habit. On the flipside, you want to increase the pleasure you feel for going through the habit.
Here’s a hint: pain is often your greatest motivator.
Pain is often the reason why there are success stories from people that come from nothing and rise to the top. The pain they felt to have nothing was so intense, that there was no other option than to succeed.
And if you know why, you will find a way.
If you want to workout to lose weight, don’t say to yourself that you lose a little bit of weight. Tell yourself that if you don’t work out, you’ll get so fat that you need help to get out of the house.
You can even reinforce this image by watching different things that support your new belief. This can be a documentary, a movie, or something else.
The most important thing is this: make the feelings as intense as possible.
Step 3: Review Your List
You want to experience the emotions of pains and pleasure on a daily basis.
You’ve to create the new pathways in your brain to build a new belief around the habit you want to introduce.
You can do this by reviewing your list twice per day, in the morning and in the evening.
Take a moment to really live the painful feeling of not having this habit in your life. Then feel the pleasures you would experience for implementing this new habit.
By doing this often enough, your brain starts to connect this pain to not practicing this habit. You’ll feel terrible for not doing it and that’s exactly what you’re looking for.
Step 4: Share Your List
To build some leverage on yourself, you’ve to share your goal with other people.
This is a perfect way to start good habits. It also builds some social pressure for yourself because now you’ve got some people that hold you accountable. This helps you to stick with it until this new habit becomes automatic.
Find as much leverage as you can. If you hesitate with this step, go back to step 1 and get clear on why you want to do this in the first place.
Let yourself know that you must change by committing to your peers.
Now you’re not only letting yourself down, you’re letting your social group down. This gives you the ultimate leverage to push through.
“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”
– Tony Robbins
Dealing With Setbacks
This is needless to say but you have to execute.
Once you’ve built your list and created enough reference points to feel the pain, it’s time to take the necessary action.
It’s not going to be easy, especially not in the beginning. That’s why you’ve got the list and build the emotional intensity behind it.
This is going to help you succeed.
Taking action is the only way to get where you want to be. But what if something happens along the way? What if you run into some roadblocks.
Let’s get real here, mistakes happen constantly. You’ll fail at some point.
It’s not a fair expectation to yourself to think that you’re never going to fail.
Set yourself up for success through proper strategic planning and reduce the chances of failure. But when mistakes happen, don’t beat yourself up.
Instead, take a step back and reflect on yourself. What happened?
Understanding why you failed is much more important than the failure itself.
Maybe you cannot avoid these situations 100% but you can decrease the chance of it happening again. Learn more about decreasing the chance of failure here.
If you want to create a successful life, you’ve to adopt successful habits.
Most people fail to fully integrate a new habit into their life because they completely rely on willpower. They quit when they don’t see immediate results because their habit isn’t a must.
Before diving into the 4 steps to start good habits, learn how to prevent failure.
The goal is to understand why you’re doing it. You need to have the right mindset to push through until succession.
The 4 steps to a start good habits are:
- Get clear why you want this habit – make a list.
- Make this feeling of why you want it intense.
- Review your list 2 times per day.
- Share your list with peers to build accountability and increase leverage.
When you run into setbacks understand that mistakes happen. When a mistake happens, try to understand why it happened but don’t judge yourself.
To reduce the chance of mistakes and setbacks you should read this article about planning your goals. Another big way to defeat the willpower trap is by implementing the new habit into your morning routine.