What is Success and How to Define Your What Success Means to You?

What is success if some of the most successful people struggle with depression and addiction? 

How can some people have it all, yet still feel miserable? 

Our perception of what success means doesn’t always match reality. And if you believe that getting success makes you happy, you might want to get out of that rat race before it’s too late.

That raises the question: what is success? And is it even worth pursuing?

The answer is yes. 

But only if you pursue success for the right reason. To pursue success in something that also makes you feel successful. Something much more important that goes beyond what others perceive as success.

Because if you only have success on your Instagram feed but feel miserable in the real world…

… are you then really successful?

Going after money, fame, or more influence isn’t a bad thing. Not if you go after it for the right reasons. But how many people chase the standard definition of success…

… and end up feeling even worse than before the pursuit of success?

This article covers how you can define what success means to you. A definition that makes you feel great. One worth your pursuit.

Let’s dive in!

What is the Definition of Success 

Before we dive into the definition of success, I want to ponder on this question a little bit. Even better yet, grab a pen and paper and write your answer to this question.

How do you define success right now?

The reason why you should answer that question is to increase your awareness. It helps you to discover your current thoughts around success. And how you developed those. 

Because most people don’t define what success means to them. We allow our surroundings to define what success means. Think about the media you consume and the opinions of those around you. 

That includes your parents, friends, the news, your favorite Netflix series, and social media feed.

And let’s be honest, are those the best sources to shape your definition of success?

So what is a good definition? Let’s look at what our friend Google Search comes up with as the most relevant result:

This definition is short and sweet. Success is the accomplishment of a goal or purpose. Do you notice how open this definition of success is? It mentions nothing about wealth, fame, or status. 

You could achieve success in anything that it’s worthy for you to pursue. That’s very different from how you would look at someone else’s success. 

In other words, the definition of success is personal. And with so many different paths in life to walk, it should be. Because only you can define what success means to you. 

The most important thing is that you like your reason.

What matters is that you like the reason why you pursue the things you do. Because if you do you can not only achieve success but also feel successful. 

What Does It Mean to Be Successful in Life?

If you can define success in any way, shouldn’t it be easy to become successful? 

Yes and no.

You could set low standards for your success. But would that make you feel successful when you achieve it? After all, you know that you have much more potential. So that doesn’t work.

Another reason why it’s not easy to achieve success is that we love to compare ourselves. Which makes it difficult to not get caught in other people’s definitions of success.

So what does it mean to be successful in life?

Well, think about it. What’s the reason that we pursue success in the first place? Why do we like more money, better relationships, or more fame?

Isn’t the underlying reason that you expect to feel happy once you achieve it? That you can finally feel whole, fulfilled, and good about yourself. 

That you can finally live your ideal life.

But that reason never has a happy ending. You cannot solve internal problems with outer solutions. It’s a recipe for disaster. Yet, too many people try it. 

So, what’s a better strategy for success AND happiness?

Define your success based on what makes you feel great in the process. To pursue your dreams and desires. To wake up feeling inspired to start your day.

To pursue success not only for the results but for the journey itself.

When you look from the inside-out, rather than the outside-in, your life will change. And when you pursue the things that are most meaningful to you, life becomes real fun. 

Wealth and freedom then only become the bi-products of your success. 

How You Can Define Personal Success in 5 Steps

Most people never sit down to think about what success means to them. And that’s how most people get sucked into the standard definitions of success. 

What does success mean to you?

Do you have a dream job that you’re aiming for? Are you trying to become a great athlete? Do you want to build a successful business? Perhaps you want the freedom to travel around the world? Is raising a family important to you? Or have you seen some injustices in the world that you want to solve?

Success comes in many flavors.

And maybe you’ve already got an idea of the success you’re after. 

Or you might feel lost and struggle to create any definition of success for yourself. 

Whatever it is, it’s never a bad idea to clarify your definition of success. The following steps will help you to define what success means to you. 

Step 1: Define the What

The first step to success is to identify what’s important in your life.

Do you want more freedom to travel the world? Lose 10 pounds and get an athletic body? Or develop the confidence to attract a great partner?

There are many different areas in life to define and achieve success. What areas in life are most important to you right now? 

• Personal development
• Health
• Wealth
• Romance
• Spiritual
• Career and business
• Friends and social life
• And not to forget, fun

It’s not a bad idea to define success in each of those areas. Nor is it a bad idea to focus on one area and let your success there spill over to all the other areas.

People often talk about work-life balance, but what does that even mean? If you love your work or business, is it bad to spend more hours working on it than the average Joe?

What’s more important is to know yourself: what is the right balance for you?

Once you’ve got that figured out, specify what success means in each area.

How do you do that?

Becoming self-aware is a good place to start. To self-reflect on who you are by nature and your past experiences. But more importantly, where you want to move towards. 

What does your dream life look like?

If you were to die 10 years from now, what would you want to achieve?

In other words, what’s something that you don’t want to regret not doing?

Don’t wait around and expect an ‘aha moment’ to define what success means. It’s a process, not a quick fix. It may take you days or weeks. And though you may get an epiphany along the way, it’s important not to wait for it. 

Besides, even if you do have a brilliant insight, your definition might change over time. So don’t stress too much over the perfect definition.

It’s more important that you spend time thinking about what success means to you. To set out a direction in your life on purpose. 

Step 2: Define the Why

When you’ve got your ‘what’, it’s time to identify the why. 

Take your time for this step. It’s a question worth pondering. Why is it important for you to achieve the success that you’ve identified? 

How will it change your life and why does it matter?

Write down the answers with a pen and paper. Even though you don’t feel like it, magic happens when you write stuff down. Don’t worry, no one else gets to see your writing.

Did you do it?

Then ask yourself why your answers matter. 

Ask yourself the question ‘why?’ a couple of times.

Asking yourself “why” at least 5 times, forces you to think about your deeper motivations. And this can help you to reveal the true reasons why you’ve defined success the way you did.

The next part is critical. Do you like your reason why?

Here’s an example of my life to give you some context about why this all matters.

I used to play poker and decided that I would invest more time to see if I could go pro. Why? Because I love the idea of having the freedom that comes along. Deciding my own working hours. And the freedom to move anywhere in the world.

So I started playing poker. And the first hour of playing, I often won money too. But then I started to get bored and lose concentration…

… and lost my hourly profit within minutes. 

This happened very often. And after a while, I didn’t enjoy the game a single bit anymore. Though I did like my reason for going pro, it did not match poker specifically. I liked the outcome that poker could give me, not the journey. I enjoyed the game but not as an occupation.

So take your time to ponder what success means to you. Will you enjoy the journey?

Sometimes, it takes trial and error. But we will get to that. The point I’m trying to make is to spend some time pondering your definition.

Step 3: Define the How

You have defined success and you’ve defined why. You’re done now, right?

Not yet.

A dream without a plan is only a wish. Even if you’ve defined success, a plan helps you to get there. Otherwise, achieving it takes a long time and a lot of luck.

What helps is to write down a plan. 

Start by writing down the steps that you need to achieve success. What’s the smallest thing you could start doing today? How does this add up to a bigger goal for this month? And what would you have to achieve this year to achieve the success you’re after?

Set goals and plan on how to achieve these goals.

Specify exactly what you’re going to do along the way.

If you do this right, it takes up some time. It’s not a crazy idea to spend a whole weekend planning out your plans for success. 

It’s worth the effort because it makes taking action a whole lot easier.

Step 4: Take Action

How is taking action part of defining what success means to you?

Do you remember my example of playing poker? I thought I had a good definition of success and I liked my reason why. But once I took action, I realized that it didn’t match my expectations.

I still loved the potential result, but not the journey to get there.

Not to say that you should always love what you do. Moments will come where you want to give up. But if you feel bored with the journey often and it doesn’t fire you up, then start thinking about a pivot.

That’s why action is important. Action brings clarity.

Or well, there are many reasons why taking action is important. Because action also helps you to develop new skills and move you towards your goals. It’s also the fastest way to grow and develop yourself.

And there are countless other reasons.

Progress equals happiness

– Tony Robbins

But even if you take action towards something that you end up disliking, you get clarity. Even though I didn’t like poker as a profession, I won’t ever regret not pursuing it. Instead of still thinking about the possibility, I now know it’s not right for me.

So when do you know if you should pivot? Have you tried everything to get and stay motivated? If so, you might want to change your definition of success.

Step 5: Reflect, Adjust & Refine

Is your first definition of success the perfect one for you? It could be.

But if you’re like me, you want to self-reflect often. Does the expectation of your definition match the reality? Do you like the journey that you’re on?

It’s also important to note that your definition of success might change. In your early years, success might mean financial independence. Or traveling to several countries. Later in life, success may change to starting a family or contributing to your community. 

Constant self-reflection is important.

Even if you feel like your goals and dreams haven’t changed much. It’s a good idea to reflect on your definition of success. And to see if your reasons still hold today.

Don’t be afraid of other people’s judgment when you decide to change the course of your life. Life is in constant change. And so are you.

Besides, it’s the journey that matters most, not the destination. 

And if you no longer like the journey that you’re on, who are you really doing a disservice? 

Keep that in mind when you decide on what success means to you. Like your reason for why you want what you want, otherwise, it might come back to bite you.

Success Resources

At this point, you may have a sense of what success means to you and why. Or you may still feel lost about what it means to you. 

And that’s fine.

For both of you, there are many resources and articles on Insideout Mastery. From generating ideas to going after success. From following your passions to making it your livelihood.

If that’s what you’re after, of course. 

Either way, here’s a list of articles and resources to dive deeper:

• 6 Steps to achieve self-mastery
• 47 of the best life-changing books
• How to build confidence for success

What is Success to You?

I hope that article has pulled you out of the matrix. That you can stop comparing yourself to others. And that you no longer define what success means to you based on your Instagram feed.

To think independently about success. What does it mean to you based on your uniqueness, strengths, wants, and desires? 

Because the journey is where the magic happens. And if you can find something that brings you joy and fulfillment for the rest of your life, you win.

That doesn’t mean that you can’t go after a bigger business, more freedom, or a luxurious car. If that floats your boat, by any means, go after it. I encourage you…

… but only if you go after it for the right reasons.

I would love to hear what success means to you. You can reach me at mick[at]insideoutmastery.com.