Many of us try to avoid responsibility. This is insanity because responsibility is the route to personal freedom. Learn why you should take responsibility and how this is going to set you free.
Do you feel helpless?
Do you feel like a victim of circumstances?
Many people are in pain today because it’s easier to blame circumstances and people, rather than taking responsibility and action.
Let’s take a look at why responsibility is the stepping stone to personal power.
Heaven or Hell – It’s Your Perception
Have you ever experienced some bad experiences in your life? Sure you have.
In fact, everyone goes through some terrible experiences – it’s part of life. Some people have life experiences that are way beyond what others will ever experience and it’s easy to be carried away as a victim for the rest of your life.
But what happens when you take on the position as a victim?
You start to blame events and people for all the things that are wrong in your life.
I’m sure you’ve done this too. What happens next when you do this?
Think about it for a minute…
You start to live in a hell created by your own thoughts. You’re no longer in control of your own feelings because your feeling is determined by the actions of other people and circumstances.
This is very disempowering.
Change Your Perception
Whatever happens to you doesn’t determine how you feel. What determines how you feel is your perception of what happens to you.
This is super important for you to understand.
It’s not your life circumstances that shape your life, it’s the way you perceive what’s happening. And how you handle those situations will eventually ultimately shape your destiny.
What’s great about this is that you control your perception. You can choose right now to see the things in a different light. You can take off your grey glasses right now and put on some colored glasses instead.
It’s Your Choice
How you perceive something is a choice you’re making either consciously or unconsciously. What’s important to remember is that you can make it a conscious decision now you’ve read this.
This simple decision can make the difference between feeling like you’re living in heaven or in hell. You can decide how you perceive things and if you don’t make this conscious decision, you’re likely to fall into …
The Victim Trap
The worst place to get stuck in as a human being is the victim trap. It’s the ultimate place for hopelessness and depression.
When you’re in the victim trap, you’ve got no personal power. Nothing seems to be going your way, life sucks, and everyone is against you.
On top of that, everything that happened isn’t your fault. It’s not your fault you’re getting bad grades. It’s not your fault that your family doesn’t understand you. And it’s definitely not your fault that nobody seems to like you.
It’s just too bad you don’t have the right genetics. The teachers in school suck for not explaining the things properly. You’re a nice person and everyone else is wrong.
This seems to be your life now. Anyway, who cares about getting a quality girlfriend, a good job, and great friends? It’s not like your life is going to get much better, right?
Being Upset Is Your Problem
When you start to think like this, you’re in a very dangerous place. You’re now in the victim trap and when you allow yourself to slide deeper into the darkness, you’re going to get stuck in the deepest hole possible:
Learned helplessness is like being in a fast streaming river while being paralyzed. You’re going with the current but there is no way to get out of it but you’re just barely able to breathe.
What you fail to realize is that you’re not really paralyzed. In fact, you’re a very good swimmer and this river should never be able to beat you up.
Nor should life be able to beat you up like that either and there’s a solution.
Life Doesn’t Happen To You, Life Happens For You
– Tony Robbins
Responsibility Is The Remedy
No matter how big your problems are in life, responsibility is the remedy to taking control over your problems. Take responsibility and you gain personal power.
How can something simple be the solution?
The last thing you want is to become a victim of your own life. When you’re blaming everything else in your life, you cannot do anything to change it.
However, if you look at it from a different perspective, you can see how you could have done things differently.
When you take responsibility for those things, this allows you to take control over your own life. Because you can only change a situation if you take responsibility for it.
Responsibility doesn’t allow you to be in the role of the victim.
Here’s a great Ted talk about the power of responsibility.
You’re Always Responsible
Whether you like it or not, you’re the only one who’s responsible for your own thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
No one else determines how you interpret a situation.
You can control how you perceive things and this is your responsibility. When you’re unwilling to take responsibility for your own mind, it becomes very easy to put yourself into the role as a victim of circumstances.
Your Life Is Too Hard?
There are too many people who have experienced things in life that no one wishes to any human being. This could be child abuse, rape, domestic violence, and many more…
It sounds easier than it is but you should still take responsibility for how you perceive these experiences. Because if you don’t do this, you give your power away.
Allow me to explain this a little further with a story from Viktor Frankl, which you can read more about in the book; man’s search for meaning (highly recommended).
Viktor was a psychiatrist and was sent to a concentration camp by the Nazis in the 2nd world war. He got split from his wife and children and saw nothing other than the worst experiences known to men. This is one of the most demeaning human environments you can be in.
Despite his circumstances, Viktor took responsibility. He took responsibility for the way he attached meaning to the things that were happening around him. He used this and a sense of humor to overcome the tough challenges that men faced in these camps.
In fact, Viktor was freer than most of his capturers. Not in the physical sense but in the mind, the place that really matters. Viktor survived the camp because he didn’t blame others for his inner world. He understood his freedom of choice.
“I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast.”
– Viktor E. Frankl
Responsibility Allows Freedom
When you start taking responsibility for your own life, you automatically become freer.
This allows you to take action rather than hoping for things to get better. Can you only imagine how much freedom you get when you stop hoping and start acting?
If you don’t take responsibility you cannot feel free. There’s simply no way.
How can you feel free when others can make you feel bad or good? How is this even fair to other people? You’re the only one who can make yourself feel good at any moment and that’s by taking 100% responsibility for your own life.
Take Responsibility For Everything In Your Life
Taking responsibility has changed the course of my own life. In fact, I think it’s one of the most important shifts I’ve ever made in my life.
Because of this, I now take responsibility for everything that happens.
This doesn’t mean that I blame myself because there’s war in this world. It means that I choose to see things from a different perspective and become aware of what I can do differently to stimulate peace.
Taking responsibility for everything to me is a change in perspective. It’s the shift from, that’s not my fault, to, what could I’ve done differently in this situation?
Does this make you perfect? Of course not. In fact, you’ll start to notice you’re still blaming other people and that’s completely natural.
But being aware of this can give you great perspective. It definitely boosts the amount of happiness you experience in your life.
Why Blaming Doesn’t Work
Blaming others isn’t beneficial for neither yourself nor others. Blaming other people won’t work for several reasons.
First, it raises the amount of resistance between you and that other person. If you’ve ever worked in sales, you understand that this is a big no in building connections. It doesn’t require much explanation why.
Secondly, you cannot change other people. It’s just not going to happen. You might be able to get what you want but at what cost? If you think you can change people by blaming them, think again.
And finally, your own peace of mind. Blaming won’t give you peace of mind but taking responsibility will. How frustrating is it if you cannot find a solution to a problem because it’s someone else’s fault and this person should solve it for you?
Surely, it’s not always your fault. And sometimes it’s your good right to blame other people. The problem is that it never solves anything. There’s no winner in this situation. You walk away in anger and the other person walks away with more resistance towards you.
It’s the ultimate lose-lose scenario you need to avoid.
How To Take More Responsibility?
Taking responsibility is a simple choice you can make. It’s literally just that, a choice.
But there are some things that you can keep in mind that help you to take more responsibility. This is important because it also gives you peace of mind, which allows you to stay creative and bring joy to your life experiences.
You can take more responsibility by looking at and understanding the following things:
- Realize That Humans Make Mistakes
- Look For Beauty
The best thing you can do in a situation like this is to forgive the other person. There’s a lot of power in forgiveness.
Forgiving someone allows you to drop the emotional burden that you’re carrying. This frees up your mind and you can now focus on solutions.
It also sends a great signal to the person whom you forgive because, in a day and age where blaming is a common choice, forgiveness is the rare alternative that most people don’t expect.
You’re lowering the barrier between you and the other person, which allows you to get to better solutions faster.
This doesn’t mean that the other person isn’t in the wrong. It merely means that you acknowledge that solutions are a better alternative than pointing fingers.
And remember: Happiness is an inside job and forgiveness allows you to tap into this.
Realize All Humans Make Mistakes
This one doesn’t require much of an explanation but it’s very true. Most of us make mistakes on a daily basis. And that’s great becomes we learn from mistakes. And the process of learning is a key component to living a beautiful life.
Let’s put you in the position of the person who has made the mistake. How do you want other people to react? Do you want them to show empathy and come to a solution together? Or do you want them to raise the bar of resistance and tell you that you’ve got to figure it out because it’s your mistake?
The answer seems to be obvious. We don’t have to be so hard on people when they make mistakes because most of the times they will realize it themselves.
In fact, if you’re hard on them, what are the chances that in the future they try to avoid telling you when they’ve made a mistake? And this isn’t a good thing if you want an environment of trust and prosperity.
Look For The Beauty
Every bad event in life has an upside. It may not look that way, but there’s always something. It’s as the saying goes: what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
Horrible experiences in your life can turn out to be your greatest blessing. You might be able to turn something bad into an opportunity to help other people.
There’s always an upside and a downside in every event if you’re looking for it. That’s why I encourage you to start looking to the upsides rather than the downsides. You’ll be a much happier person if you do.
Realize that it’s your perception of how you interpret an event, and not the event itself, that gives you pain. You’ve got the ability to change your perception and therefore how you think and feel about things.
Stop blaming other people for what’s happening in your life. This will place you in the role of the victim and this isn’t going to be beneficial to anyone. Instead, take responsibility for what is happening and with that, you’ll take control of the situation.
Take responsibility and live a higher quality of life. Without responsibility you’re powerless.
When you take responsibility you enter a world of freedom. You can now start to take action and start changing things that you’re not satisfied within your life.
This is a much better approach than hoping that other people will fix the things you’re unhappy with – because this is likely not going to happen.
If you haven’t already, start taking responsibility for your own life now. Pick up a copy of the Morning Warrior here to get started.