When you take responsibility for your actions, you regain control over your life.
It’s one of the fastest ways to experience personal freedom.
Because taking responsibility means that you control what you do next. No one else has any power over what you say or do. You are the one in control.
A responsible person enjoys more creativity because they seek solutions, not problems.
That’s a much better approach than complaining or blaming others.
Yet, it’s also more challenging.
Especially when something happens that is not your fault. Like when someone crashes their car into yours. Or when someone doesn’t follow up on their promises.
We already talked about why you should accept personal responsibility in those situations.
And in this article, we dive into the tips to take responsibility so that you can excel in life.
#1: Immediately Stop Doing This
In essence, three clues display a lack of responsibility. And it’s something that happens to the best of us.
- Blaming
- Complaining
- And making excuses
The trick is not to avoid it or get angry with yourself when it happens.
Instead, make a mental note when you experience one of these clues. Doing so improves your self-awareness which is the starting point for taking more responsibility.
Then let it go.
And start focusing on moving forward. What are some solutions to the challenges that you face right now?
In other words:
- When you notice that you’re either blaming, complaining, or making excuses;
- Make a mental note of it.
- Accept what you can’t control.
- And ask yourself how you can take responsibility right now.
Over time, you will notice that it becomes much easier to take responsibility for your life. And because you won’t get hung up in endless complaints, you will enjoy life more too.
#2: Your Filter ≠ Reality
Last week, I had a 2-day workshop to improve my presentation skills. And though everyone in that workshop faced different challenges, there was a similar challenge we all faced.
Each of us rated ourselves worse than the rest of the group would.
The person who presented would consistently give themselves 2 points lower on a scale of 1 to 10. So if you give yourself a 6, the chances are that the rest would give you an 8.
The feedback I got was quite the opposite of what I felt.
I felt shaky, a bit nervous, and kind of in a rush while presenting.
The feedback from the group?
Steady as a Rock. Super calm and relaxed.
Here’s the point:
You see the world through your glasses. And others see the world through their glasses.
In other words, what you think that others think about is often wrong. Everyone feels crippled by insecurity and fear. And what we often know but don’t consciously realize is that everyone faces similar challenges.
Most people are very much like you.
And most people do have good intentions.
Understanding this concept may help you to take responsibility in challenging situations.
#3: Acceptance is Key
Another thing we learned in that same workshop is to accept what you can’t control.
When you give a presentation, you have no control over what other people think about you.
And you have no control over what happens during the presentation. Someone might ask you an unexpected question for example.
Your responsibility lies in how you deal with that situation.
And you’ve got two simple options:
- Resist the things you can’t control
- Accept the things you can’t control
When you resist the stuff you can’t control, you will experience stress. And the more you resist it, the more stress you will experience.
The latter option allows you to stay in control. Through acceptance, you can better manage the situation. And that’s key for a more successful life.
#4: Trust in Your Intention
Intention matters more than you think.
The first thing most people do when someone makes a mistake is to look for the intention. This process often happens within a second and on an unconscious level of thinking.
Was it on purpose?
Do they care about the stuff they do?
You’re more likely to forgive mistakes if something wasn’t on purpose and someone gave their best efforts. The intention always matters.
And you can use this idea to take more responsibility for your actions too.
Because if you have good intentions, people will notice that. Besides, good intentions make your life more enjoyable too.
#5: Ask Yourself Better Questions
The power of questions is that they determine your focus. Asking yourself a better question can instantly make you feel better.
And you are in complete control over the questions you ask yourself, right?
For example:
Don’t say: why does this always happen to me?
Say: how can I move forward in the best possible way?
Don’t say: why am I not good enough?
Say: how can I become even better?
Do you see how these questions give you different answers? And how do these answers make you feel differently inside as well?
To learn more about this, check out this resource about the power of questions.
#6: Control Your Thoughts
Did you know that you can control your thoughts?
Most thoughts appear unconsciously. There’s no way to avoid that. Yet, there is a way for you to get more grip on your thoughts.
The secret?
Recognizing patterns.
You see, many thoughts get triggered because of a pattern. Most often, the reason is in line with the beliefs you hold. How you see the world determines your thoughts.
When you understand this pattern, you can interfere with it. And when you can interfere with it, you gain control over it.
You can use this to stay calmer in challenging situations. Or you can also use this to change consistent pressing thoughts and transform these into more positive ones.
How often do you think that you’re not smart enough?
Not good-looking or funny enough?
Everyone faces some doubts and other thought struggles.
You can take charge of these thoughts if you’re ready to take responsibility.
Learn here how to control your thoughts step-by-step.
#7: Do the Stuff You Say You Are Going to Do
The responsible person does the things they say they’re going to do.
In other words, follow up on the promises you make.
Not only will this display responsibility, but it also helps you to build trust. Both with yourself as well as others.
The problem with not doing this is that the opposite is true too. When you don’t follow up on the things you promised to yourself or others, you suffer.
Often when this happens, people try to validate their actions. They start making excuses for why they haven’t done what they said they were going to do.
And as you know by now, making excuses is a no-no.
#8: Exercise Courage
You are responsible for your success.
What does this mean?
Most people have big dreams for what they want their life to be. Yet, they also become complacent once they’ve reached a comfortable way of living.
And that’s unfortunate because achieving dreams takes effort and discomfort.
You can only make the best out of your life with a responsible approach. You need to consistently challenge and put yourself in uncomfortable situations.
Joining a training program to improve your presentation skills is a good example for most people.
But for now, think about something that’s holding you back from achieving your goal.
And be honest with yourself…
How can you make a very small step to put yourself outside your comfort zone? What is a small step you can take to help you become more comfortable with that roadblock?
It takes a lot of courage to do this.
But both success and happiness lie on the other side of fear.
#9: Surround Yourself with Like-Minded People
Finally, it’s much easier to take responsibility for your actions when you’re around good people.
The reason is that around good people, you feel more comfortable making mistakes. And you won’t feel the need to defend yourself when something happens.
In other words, like-minded people are less likely to blame you. And so, you’re less likely to blame them too.
It’s great to surround yourself with people who want to move forward in life. People who chase their dreams and cheer on others to do the same thing.
When you surround yourself with those types of people, you cheer yourself up and feel happier too.
Final Words on Responsibility
It’s your responsibility to accept whatever you can’t control. This includes other people’s words, thoughts, actions, and behavior.
But you should take responsibility for your actions, thoughts, and feelings. You’re the only one who controls your response to situations.
With the 9 tips in this article, you’re now able to take responsibility.
And though this needs a lot of practice, if you keep improving yourself you will succeed. And when you’re responsible, nobody can take your happiness away.