Do you feel stuck, unmotivated, and frustrated with your life?
Don’t worry!
We all feel lost sometimes. And though it’s a part of life, you can get back on track and feel great again. Because you may not believe it right now, but this feeling isn’t going to last forever.
You can get unstuck.
The question you need to ask yourself first is why you feel stuck and unmotivated. Why do you feel pressure to have your life figured out?
The big problem that’s causing more anxiety today is social media. The reason is simple: you see joy, happiness, and success in every picture. But that’s not real life!
But you know that social media isn’t real life, right? Though you know this on a conscious level, it still programs your unconscious mind to believe that you should have life figured out too.
Now social media isn’t the only part of the equation. You may feel pressure from your parents. Your friends seem to live great lives. And you’ve no idea what to do with your life.
So what do you do when you don’t know what to do and feel like your life is falling apart?
After reading this article, you’ll have the tools to:
- Relieve yourself from external pressure
- Regain clarity and direction in your life
- Make the first step to transforming yourself
Help, I Don’t Know What to Do Anymore!
First, let’s slow down a little bit.
I know, that’s not sexy advice in our fast-paced society. And the thought of slowing down may cause you to feel more anxious. But it’s a necessary step to regain control over yourself.
So take a couple of deep breaths and feel your body and mind settle in calmness.
Have you done it a couple of times? Do you feel more at ease? If you haven’t yet, please do so. A calm mind is more open to a fresh perspective.
Now that you’re calm and opened up your mind, let me tell you a little secret about life:
You shouldn’t have it all figured out.
It’s okay to wonder what life is all about.
The beauty of life is that it’s a journey. A journey in which you try different flavors and gain new experiences. When you’re exploring you may wander in the wrong direction every once in a while. And you will make mistakes too.
So stop being so hard on yourself.
Life has its ups and downs. That’s what makes life so beautiful.
Look, I thought I needed to have everything figured out too. And that thought held me back from taking action. I didn’t want to try and fail.
But if you don’t try stuff and live your life, you already fail by default, right?
So why not try?
You’ll only find out what to do in your life by actually going through the process of trying new stuff. Sometimes it’s a new experience or hobby. Other times it requires you to step out of your comfort zone.
Don’t expect to know everything and just start somewhere.
Here are 7 insights that helped me to get started and engage in the process.
Insight 1: Get to Know Yourself
Self-awareness is a great starting point to live a better and more successful life.
Why?
Because when you get to know yourself, you can start to filter out the noise. Instead, you can narrow your focus on what’s important to you.
For example, I’ve played poker for quite some time and wanted to see if I could pursue it as a full-time job. But upon becoming self-aware, I quit.
Why?
Because I then understood that I wasn’t enjoying the game very much. Instead, I was in love with the idea of earning a lot of money fast.
But even if I would’ve made it happen, it wouldn’t fulfill me.
Getting to final tables in poker was a nice adrenaline rush, but soon after, I felt like I hadn’t added any value to the world.
So how can you start becoming self-aware?
Honest self-reflection is a great start.
When you’re honest with yourself, why do you feel stuck? Are you moving in a direction that you don’t want to? Do you have no idea what to pursue?
Here are ways to begin discovering yourself:
- Take a free personality test
- Discovery your core values
- Find your unique strengths
- Explore interests and passions
Also, get into the habit of journaling. It’s a great way to gather personal insights. Start with an effective guided journal, like The Five Minute Journal.
Insight 2: Ask Yourself with Curiosity
Albert Einstein once said:
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence.
The world is becoming more polarized: it’s black or white. You feel like you have to choose between the two. But there are so many shades of grey and other colors too.
Curiosity is a diminishing art in society today.
But when you try to stay curious, you’ll get amazing new insights. And that also counts for staying curious about yourself.
Why do you feel a certain way? Why are you always overthinking a certain thought? Where is all this coming from?
As corny as it sounds, you’ve already got all the answers inside of you.
I dare you to dig a little bit inside yourself. When you feel like you should have your life figured out, ask yourself why.
Why do you think that you should know everything? Why do you think that the mistakes you made in the past shouldn’t have happened? Why do you perceive your “failures” as something bad?
Become a detective and try to find clues within yourself. It’s a fun process.
Combine questions with journaling, and you’ve got a great recipe to feel better about your life.
Insight 3: Disconnect and Move
What do you do when you feel bored and want to make time go faster?
Most people immediately grab their phones to check social media. Or you might prefer to watch a video on YouTube or settle down for your favorite series on Netflix. Preferably while staying in bed.
It’s a shame that we’re not more often taking the opportunity of loneliness and transforming this into quality time for ourselves. You could use this time to think through your life and your desires.
A lot of clarity comes from purposeful thinking and pondering various self-reflection questions. It’s not the sexy topic you tell others about when they ask you what you did on your weekend.
But what if you could make it more fun for yourself? What if you can both explore your mind and a new environment at the same time?
What I propose to you is to go out next weekend and spend a full day walking in nature. Not with anyone else but just by yourself. Not with an audiobook or podcast, but with your thoughts.
I recently started doing this and surprised myself with the many new personal insights I got. Also, this walk generated many new ideas about what to do with my life. Even though I self-reflect often, combining this practice with a long walk in nature was eye-opening.
Magic happens when you spend quality alone time with your thoughts. Especially if you can combine this with a long walk in nature.
Insight 4: Experiment
Simply trying new stuff is a great idea when you don’t know what to do. Simply trying anything that comes to mind brings experience and clarifies what you want.
When you try new things, your world opens up. And in most cases, there are 3 outcomes of trying something new:
- You enjoy it and want to do it more often.
- You like it but wouldn’t do it again.
- Or you didn’t like it at all.
But even if you tried something new and didn’t like it at all, you learned something new, right? That’s a great insight and another experience that makes your life much richer.
And please don’t expect that you won’t like something. Try it out first.
Experimenting with new jobs, hobbies, activities, is the fastest way to learn what you want to do with your life. Besides, experimenting with new things makes your experience of life much more enjoyable.
Insight 5: Meditate to Focus Your Mind
Meditation has become very popular over the last decade in the Western world. There’s a simple reason why: there are many great benefits to this practice.
And gaining self-awareness is one of those benefits.
When you sit still and focus on your breath, you notice that you won’t last a minute. Your mind is a master at distracting you by generating thoughts.
When this happens, notice how you’re thinking. Observe your thoughts with curiosity instead of identifying with them. This process is also referred to as “becoming the observer.”
If you observe your thoughts often, you start to notice some persistent topics. The awareness you get from this might help you to find out what you want to do with your life.
Breakthroughs always start with insights and awareness.
Insight 6: Just Start Somewhere
The famous quote by Nike is a great mantra to get motivated and unstuck yourself: just do it!
But how do you start taking action? You’re stuck after all.
It’s like not having the energy to go to the gym. But you know that if you go, you get more energy. And once you get that energy going, it’s easier to sustain this progression.
You just have to push through the initial phase.
And let’s become honest here: isn’t ‘I feel stuck’ just a lazy excuse for not taking action?
I mean, I get it, if you feel stuck, it blocks your creativity and focuses your thinking on why you can’t do stuff. You feel like you have no options.
But there’s always something you’re curious about. And if you can’t come up with anything, type this in Google: 100 things to try out.
The same paradox counts here: you first have to try new things before you know what to do with your life. Taking action improves self-awareness about what you like and dislike.
You simply need to start doing something.
Also, keep in mind what we said at the beginning: you shouldn’t have everything figured out. The journey of life is about the process, not the destination.
Doing stuff makes the process much more fun. It also leads to progress. And in turn, that leads to living a more fulfilling life.
Insight 7: Seek a Coach or Mentor
If you’ve taken action and still feel stuck, you may find it useful to get someone else’s perspective.
A good coach or mentor helps you to explore yourself by asking questions. A few sessions can give you fresh insights that you wouldn’t think about on your own.
And please note that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a strength.
If you feel a bit awkward about getting help with life, this is the best time for you to be alive. You can find many great coaches online to help you and no one ever has to find out.
So what kind of coach do you need if you’re not sure about what to do or what to look for? In that case, life coaches are a great option for you.
And there’s no reason to feel anxious about your first coaching sessions. Coaches know how to help you get unstuck and overcome your struggles.
Try a couple of sessions with different coaches. And when you find the right coach for you, invest in a couple of sessions with them. Give it a chance to see what happens.
A Final Note on Not Knowing What to Do
So what do you do when you don’t know what to do?
I hope you now know to take it easy when you feel stuck. Experiencing frustration and lacking motivation is okay sometimes. But make sure you don’t get hung up with these feelings.
You’re not supposed to have everything figured out.
Life’s a marathon. So stop sprinting your way to the finish line. Begin to enjoy the process and you’ll find it much easier to make progress and live a higher quality of life.
Also, don’t take life too seriously. The more you cling onto the perfect image of what your life should look like, the more resistance you’ll experience and the harder life becomes.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have goals and work on creating a better future. Instead, it means that you’re flexible with whatever happens in life.
I hope this post inspired you to try new things.
And if you want to get more clarity and direction, make sure to sign up below for my latest tips and strategies to live a more fulfilling life!