Why Life Sucks: A Guide to More Success and Happiness

How can you rid yourself of the feeling that your life sucks?

It’s a question that most of us struggle with at some point in our lives.

Not too long ago, I felt lonely and helpless too. It’s a terrible feeling when you get stuck in such a place. Nothing seems to work and small stuff becomes very frustrating.

If you feel the same way, you probably also ponder the same question:

Why does my life suck so much?

All you want is a little more happiness. To feel better and live a good life. Is that too much to ask for?

It’s not.

The truth is that you can enjoy life again. Even if you like that’s impossible. You’ve got the power to make a change. You can live a meaningful and joyful life again. 

After all, I managed to do it too. 

But how you do it, might surprise you. 

In this article, you’ll learn why life sucks and how you can regain meaning and joy.

Let’s dive in!

3 Reasons Why You Feel This Way

Let’s face it, life does suck sometimes.

It’s not a secret. And for some, these challenges are more difficult than for others. Many people struggle with various forms of depression, loneliness, and anxiety. 

At any time, 1 out of every 10 people experiences depression alone. 

That sole statistic is enough to confirm that life does suck indeed. Or at least, it does so for most of us at some stages in our lives.

Life’s hard.

Especially if you resist life during those hard times. We often get into our heads and feel stuck and frustrated. It’s how I suffered much longer than I should have.

That’s why coaching or therapy can help you too. Other people are often seeing stuff from a different perspective. And they can help you to identify and stop the disempowering scripts that run automatically.

There’s something important to note before we dive into the reasons. I’m not a doctor and by no means is the stuff I write about medical advice. If you suffer from serious mental health issues, please get help from a professional. They’re a very good bet to get back on track as soon as possible. 

The reason why I write this is that my younger self would have benefited from this post. A different perspective or fresh insight can often give us the tools we need to move forward.

That said, here’s why I felt that my life would suck forever:

Reason 1: False Expectations

Technology advances much faster than most of us can keep up with. And the very tools that should connect us, often make us feel more disconnected. 

It’s in your nature to compare yourself to others. Your environment may play a big role in the expectations you set for yourself. And on social media, everyone shows the best sides of themselves.

Heck, top social media influencers build their following on that. And the more often you consume that stuff, the more you begin to think that’s the normal way of living.

I’ve struggled with it too.

And that was before social media…

The problem is that most of the time you see a great lifestyle and want it too. But once you get that lifestyle, it turns out you didn’t want it at all.

It’s for that reason that self-awareness is so important.

Who are you? And what truly makes you happy? 

Be honest in how you answer those questions. The life you see on Instagram isn’t real at all. 

Don’t look for the job with the highest pay if you want success. Look for the job that has a process that you would enjoy the most. That’s how you get real success.

If you want to get into a meaningful relationship, start dating different people. Find out what qualities are really important to you, other than a couple of photoshopped pictures.

That’s how you start to generate a better set of expectations. 

Because when your life doesn’t match your expectations, you experience suffering. And if you base your expectations on the lifestyle of someone else, that’s a recipe for disaster.

Reason 2: Fail to Conceptualize Time

As a society, we massively fail to conceptualize time.

It’s stupid how thirty-year-olds feel pressure to have their “life figured out”. Even if you’re 50 years old, you could make a positive change in your life.

I felt the same way though.

And I felt that pressure since I turned 18 years old… It started with the pressure to pick a study that would lead to a career for the rest of my life. That was a big decision I thought back then. Little did I know that I would be able to change it along the way. And that’s the very thing I did 5 years down the line. 

What I’m saying is that you’ve got plenty more time than you think.

Even if you only party and fuck up your whole twenties, you can turn it around in your thirties or forties. You could basically have a full career every 10 years of your life. 

It also comes down to the false expectations we have. 

When you’re 25, everyone starts having relationships and many friends will have steady jobs with good pay. Perhaps some even get married and have kids. While at the same time, you may feel stuck and ask yourself why life sucks so much. 

The thing is that they run in the same struggles you do. 

Please realize that you’ve got time. Start exploring stuff to find what’s most meaningful to you. Try different career paths if you don’t know where to start yet. Dip your toes into a couple of different puddles. 

Move at a phase that you feel comfortable with. Don’t expect to have everything figured out. Go with the flow and appreciate your current stage of life.

Reason 3: Black and White Thinking

One of the big reasons why we wonder why life sucks is because we generalize everything. When facing a challenge in one area, we’re great at blowing this up to everything.

For example, say that you get rejected on a date. They tell you that it was a fun time, but that your world is too different to continue.

If you think black and white, then something like this happens:

I’m terrible with dates. I’ve been wasting my time doing this. It’s like this with all my dates and relationships. Even with friends, I feel like the odd one. Heck, even in my job I feel like something is off. Maybe nothing is right for me at all…

Once you get into a thought pattern like this, it’s difficult to get out. 

It’s a box that can trap you for a long time. It certainly did for me. 

One way to snap out of this is to have a self-awareness practice. Journaling about your experience has a very positive effect on this. The reason is that it slows your emotions down and allows you to see stuff from a logical perspective.

After all, you know this emotional story you tell yourself isn’t the truth.

And you can get over it.

What to Do When Life Sucks?

The truth about life is that it is hard. Life does suck sometimes. And it’s okay to wonder what the point of life really is. 

Everyone faces difficulties in life. 

Some do more than others and that may seem unfair. That’s life. And there’s no way you can change that. 

The thing you can change though is how you carry your backpack.

How you deal with your struggles and challenges is key to living a great life. Those who can find meaning in their suffering, live a greater life than those who do not.

The problem is that most people don’t know how to navigate through those times.

It’s not something you learn in school. If you’re lucky, you’ve got parents who are great at navigating you through this. Unfortunately, too many people feel stuck and repeatedly run disempowering scripts in their heads.

How can you get out of that looping?

Researchers wanted to get a better understanding of what makes people feel more depressed. Here are the answers:

• Being alone (24%)
• Inactivity (20%) 
• Thinking about the problem that was getting them down (18%)

If you want to get out of the looping, a great start lies in the answers above. Start exercising, seek meaningful relationships, and start focusing on yourself.

The best cure to suffering is to find meaning within the suffering.

5 Tips to Create Meaning Out of Suffering

Suffering is something you will experience throughout your life. And that’s okay. The trick isn’t to avoid suffering but to let it happen and find meaning within it.

Once you’re able to do that, you regain your personal power. 

Now it’s not going to be easy. But it’s worth making the effort to change your perspective. Once you release the resistance to the suffering, you can overcome it.

Tip 1: Accept and Appreciate

Life is like a river. Both are moving forward with energy. Like a river, life is always in motion.

If you would get stuck in a river, would you try to swim against the current? 

Probably not. 

It would certainly be a waste of your energy. A much better choice would be to let the river move you forward and use your energy elsewhere. For example, to steer yourself when the river splits up. Or to avoid rocks and sticks.

It’s a great analogy for life.

Just like the river, life only wants to move forward. You can cling to the past and wonder why stuff happened, but it won’t help you further. Instead, focus on the decisions that are in front of you.

When you do this, you accept that the river is there. You accept that it’s moving you forward. And the more you can embrace that, the easier your ride becomes.

It’s in your power to choose how you respond to situations in life. And therefore, your response is your responsibility.

Tip 2: Start Exercising

An immediate thing you can do to feel better is exercise.

When you start moving your body, you will feel better. Bonus points if you can do it outdoors with fresh air.

Yet, often when we feel bad, exercise is the last thing we do.

It’s hard to make the initial step to go exercising. It’s the one step that requires some willpower. So try to make it very easy for you to go.

For example, prepare your clothes and shoes the day before. Make sure you’re ready the next day to get up and get out.

If exercising is too difficult for some reason, go outside for a walk. A short walk alone will release endorphins and make you feel better. 

It’s the best medicine for happiness.

Tip 3: Find a Purpose

A purpose by definition is a meaningful reason to do something.

For example, your purpose could be to promote education in African countries and help them build schools. Or your purpose could embrace some community involvement or raising your kids.

The reason why a purpose works is that it focuses on a much bigger picture. It motivates you to know that what you’re doing might impact the world beyond your personal needs.

We’re also less likely to give up when others rely on us.

It’s why support groups like Alcohol Anonymous work so well. Every member of the group holds each other accountable. 

That’s the power of purpose.

So if you’re experiencing hardship or pain right now, think about it. Is there a way that you can create meaning out of this suffering? Can you bend your weakness into a strength?

For example, if you’re losing weight could you turn that into a strength? Perhaps you know someone else who wants to lose weight who you can be an example of. Or if you’re not sure what career to choose, how about becoming a personal trainer yourself?

There are so many options to turn “weaknesses” into strengths and personal power.

You’re much more capable than you think. 

If you feel like you struggle with this point, no worries. You’ve got time to find your purpose. Sometimes all you need to get your life on track are some small goals.

Tip 4: Set Meaningful Goals

The biggest problem when you ask yourself why life sucks is that you keep focusing on that question. And guess what? You will find answers for it. 

Goals shift your focus. 

What is a tiny goal that you could set and take action on?

Perhaps it’s something small like going out for a 30-minute walk every afternoon. And then while you do that, to smile at people when you walk by.

A tiny goal already helps you to shift your focus to something positive.

Don’t worry so much about the goal itself. 

Always wanted to start a book? Start writing one today. Always wanted to learn another language? Try the first lessons for free on Rocket Languages. Always wanted to test the waters in a different career? Well, then, look if you can already learn a bit about it.

Set a small goal for yourself and start working on it today. And soon, you will stop wondering why life sucks so much.

Tip 5: Create and Nurture Great Relationships

Loneliness is one of the big reasons why people feel sad. 

And it’s no surprise that the cure to this is having great relationships with amazing people. The question is, how and where can you find those?

What worked great for me is this:

First, find out what you enjoy and who the people are that you want to be around. Then, look for the places where you can find and connect with those people.

I’m a big fan of gaining self-awareness first. Because you get clear on who you want to be around, it’s much easier to find those people.

Finding like-minded people increases your chances of finding new friendships too.

For example, if you’re big into sports go to a place where people do a lot of sports. If you enjoy business, go to coworking spaces once a week. 

This is a good starting point because you’ve common interests. And common interests are the foundation of great friendships.

There are many more ways to find new people of course. But this is the method I enjoy the most. And you can also use this approach to find like-minded groups online and connect with new people from the comfort of your house.

Why Life’s Wonderful

Life’s hard sometimes.

And by now, you’ve learned that this won’t change. What you can change is your attitude and response in times of difficulty.

With the tips above, you can learn to appreciate tough times. Once you find a deeper meaning in such events, they become much more bearable.

It’s also the fastest way to get back on track and enjoy the beauty of life again.

Books to Read

The stuff you read in this article is based on my experience. But my experience is highly influenced by some books that discuss this very topic.

Here is a list of the best books about finding your life’s purpose.

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