Self-Accountability: 4 Strategies to Take Ownership of Your Life

Trust is the core of self-accountability. 

That includes building trust with others but also with yourself. Sticking to the promises you make out loud and internally is essential to success.

But you already know that.

I mean, no one wants to let anyone down, including yourself. But even though we would like to avoid that, most people struggle to stick to their commitments.

How can you follow through on any promise you make?

How can you develop self-accountability in any situation?

That’s what you will learn in this definitive guide. We will take a deep dive into each of the following:

• What is self-accountability?
• Examples of self-accountability
• Why is self-accountability important?
• Why do people lack accountability?
• How to improve self-accountability?

Let’s dive in!

What is self-accountability exactly?

Self-accountability means taking ownership and responsibility for your decisions, commitments, and actions. That includes owning your mistakes, failures, and setbacks.

Self-accountability is easy when everything goes well.

But it’s most essential when things are going south. That’s when self-accountability is put to the test. And without it, most people fall into victim-mentality and blame others or circumstances.

The important distinction to make is this:

• Self-accountability to oneself means that you take ownership of your life, avoid the victim mentality, and set and pursue your goals. It also means sticking to the silent commitment you make to yourself, like telling yourself that you won’t eat ice cream tonight.
• Self-accountability to others means that you take ownership of the commitments you make to others. It means you’re admitting and owning your mistakes publicly when they happen.

Taking accountability is closely related to taking responsibility. But where the latter means your ability to complete a task, accountability is about taking full ownership of everything that happens next.

Examples of accountability

To deepen your understanding of what accountability means, let’s take a look at some examples:

• You lead a project and make an unpopular decision. Throughout the project, you realize it was a mistake. Own your mistakes during the next team meeting and present a proactive solution.
• You asked a junior team member to support you with a task. But when you check in with them, you realize they screwed up. Rather than becoming angry, you realize that a poor explanation was the real issue. And so, you sit down with them to go over it again.
• You set a New Year’s resolution for yourself but struggle to stick to it. You self-reflect and find out that your goal was unrealistic. Rather than giving up, you break it down into smaller goals and try again.
• You made the unspoken commitment to yourself to work on your side project for 4 hours on a Saturday. After a gaming session, you realize it’s already early evening, and you’ve invested zero hours. Instead of telling yourself you will start tomorrow, you muster the discipline to work on your project for 2 hours.
• You told someone you would follow up on a specific item, even though you felt like it wasn’t your responsibility. The next day, you remember you forgot about it. Instead of letting it rest because it “wasn’t your responsibility after all,” you admit your mistake and follow through on it – since you made the promise you would.
• You realize that you aren’t going to make a tight deadline on your task. Rather than allowing overwhelm to take the upper hand, you muster the courage to ask for help. And when you do meet the deadline, you acknowledge those people publicly.
• Someone screwed up a commitment made to you. When they come to you to apologize, rather than telling them how much they messed up, you forgive the mistake and figure out a solution together.
• In a meeting, you hear something you disagree with. Instead of suppressing your emotions, you share your feelings with the group and explain why you disagree.

As these examples illustrate, self-accountability often becomes crucial after a mistake, failure, or setback occurs.

And what you do at such moments determines if you’re a leader.

Why is self-accountability important?

Honoring your commitments and owning your mistakes is important because it’s how you build trust in yourself and others, makes you more reliable and empowers you to make positive changes.

Let’s dissect this a bit further:

• Accountability towards yourself gives you control and enables you to make positive changes. It shifts you from being a victim and puts you in the driver’s seat. And when you follow through on your commitments, it builds trust, character, and self-confidence.
• Accountability towards others leads to reliability and trust, which are foundational for positive relationships. When others learn that you’re accountable, more opportunities will present themselves. For example, think about project ownership at work.

Avoiding accountability leads to stress on the flipside. You’ll constantly need to justify yourself and validate why you weren’t at fault.

On the flip side, self-accountability leads to freedom. Owning your mistakes gives you the personal power to decide what to do next.

In summary, self-accountability leads to:

• Personal growth;
• Self-confidence;
• More control;
• Improves your relationships;
• And ultimately, gives you the power to achieve success.

So why do so many people avoid it?

Why do people lack accountability?

Self-accountability is hard.

The reason is that we care too much about what others think of us instead of being the best possible version of ourselves. This leads to inaction or, sometimes worse, playing the victim.

Here’s what lacking accountability means in practice:

• You’re not sticking to the (silent) commitments made to yourself.
• You’re not following up on your promises.
• You waste your and other people’s time.
• You complain about situations.
• You blame others.
• You rarely make decisions.
• You (purposely) slack at work.
• You avoid doing what you should do.
• You feel like the victim in the entire situation.

Do you recognize any of those in yourself?

It’s hardly surprising if you do because we all lack self-accountability sometimes. And here’s why: 

• Lack of clarity: Knowing when you’re avoiding accountability is easier said than done – even when it’s crystal clear to others. That’s why the trait of self-awareness is vital to develop.
• Mindset: You will avoid mistakes if you believe they’re bad. Instead, believing that owning your mistakes leads to trust and freedom will lead to self-accountability.
• Fear of consequences: Fear holds people off from taking accountability, like the fear of judgment, losing respect, and trust. 
• Unrealistic expectations often quickly lead to frustration. And if you fail to manage that, you likely fall into the victim mentality.
• Lack of commitment: If you’re unwilling to take ownership, you won’t step up to the plate when mistakes and setbacks happen.
• Limited resources: Finally, a shift or mere lack of resources can cause you to experience issues. For example, think about people being pulled away from your project.

While some reasons are reasonable, you can and should always take self-accountability if you want to create your best life.

And here’s how you can do that:

How to improve self-accountability

Self-accountability is challenging but rewarding. It means taking ownership of your actions, commitments, and life. 

That also means you must become bolder.

Mistakes are unavoidable. Everyone makes them. And those who never do are never taking action or flat-out lying. 

Therefore, the secret to taking ownership and achieving success comes from your ability to deal with setbacks and mistakes.

Do you look away, pretending it never happened?

Or do you own your mistakes, even when no one notices them?

The latter is the more challenging but rewarding path. And fortunately, there are a few strategies to improve self-accountability.

Strategy 1: Atomic commitments

It sounds simple: make commitments and stick to them.

But reality teaches that it’s quite a challenge. So how can you stick to this strategy 100% of the time?

It’s all about the kind of commitments you make.

Making too many significant commitments eventually causes overwhelm and anxiety, especially once you fall short of your promises.

One missed commitment leads to the next.

And overwhelm, and anxiety takes over, tanking your self-confidence.

However, you can develop self-confidence and self-accountability by making small commitments and sticking to them. 

What’s the smallest commitment you can make today?

These are atomic commitments you should make daily. And then take action on them immediately. 

For example:

• I will go to the gym today. Do it as soon as you can.
• I will respond to this email. Do it immediately, not later.
• I will follow up on the broken printer. Get it done now.
• I will go for a walk later today. Why not now? At least do it.

But what about massive goals or projects?

Set massive goals and communicate them. If you can take on bigger projects or lead them, go for it. 

Then, take ownership.

It’s okay to set big goals and embrace major tasks. But you should chunk them down into bite-sized pieces. Follow up with smaller promises and take action immediately. 

Never allow audacious ambitions to overwhelm and cripple you.

Rules for atomic commitments

Here are some fundamental rules that I follow to maintain trust in my ability to stay accountable to myself and others:

• Make tiny daily commitments and stick to them by taking action as soon as possible.
• Set big goals for yourself but also chunk them down. Follow up with a plan and communicate both to others.
• Never make too many (major) commitments at once. Let others know what’s on your plate. And when you realize you cannot fulfill a promise, say no to new obligations to guard your existing ones.
• When you expect failure for whatever reason, communicate it fast. Ideally, proactively come up with a solution too.
• Ambition is good but be honest with yourself when it becomes too much. Work hard, honor your promises, but communicate when you need help or need to take a step back. I’ve seen too many burnouts, including myself, due to a lack of communication and taking on too many commitments.

Immediate and frequent action is the secret to become successful. And proactive communication is the glue to maintaining trust in relationships.

Making atomic commitments leads to self-accountability and confidence.

Strategy 2: Unlock the gold

There’s an incredible amount of gold to unlock through self-reflection. But introspection to gain self-awareness always sounded dull to me.

I mean, who isn’t self-aware?

Surely, I know myself.

That’s what I thought until I became more self-aware. The surprising part is that the more awareness you gain, the more you begin to wonder how much you really know yourself and the world around you.

But how does reflection lead to self-accountability?

The biggest obstacle to most stuff in life is ourselves. More specifically, our self-limiting beliefs, counterproductive values, denial, defensiveness, complaining about situations and blaming others.

You can only overcome those through self-awareness.

That’s why it unlocks the gold. 

If you want anything to change, you first need clarity. Only then do you gain the power to make positive changes.

How to unlock the gold?

The gold hides behind clouds of judgements, limiting beliefs, violating values, and other concepts created by your surroundings.

Here are different ways to gain self-awareness and unlock your gold:

• Self-reflection: Seat yourself in a comfy chair and go through your past experiences.
  • What situations come to mind? 
  • How did you respond or deal with them?
  • Could you’ve dealt with it in a slightly better way?
  • How would you handle that situation next time?
  • And what can you learn from this event?
• Journaling: Rather than rehearsing events in your mind, write them down. Exploring your thoughts, feelings, and emotions on paper is effective because writing slows your thought process, which activates magic within your brain. 
• Going on (long) walks: Some people generate more insights when walking than sitting down. If you do, ensure you’re present with your thoughts or only listen to background music.
• Meditate: Sit or lay comfortably and focus on your breathing. When thoughts arise, notice them. Then gently let them go by bringing your focus back to your breath. That’s the entire exercise. I’ll let you discover its effects on your own.
• Ask for feedback: Self-awareness comes as a result of frequent introspection. But you can rapidly gain awareness when you ask others for feedback. Be specific when you ask people. And avoid becoming offended or reacting defensively. After all, their feedback comes from their viewpoint and is true from their perspective. Take it in, chew on it for a while, and extract the essential lessons. 

Lacking awareness is a big reason people struggle with self-accountability and many other traits, including self-confidence. 

And frequent introspection is the cure.

Strategy 3: Win the day

Everyone has a similar routine in many ways. 

We all deal with everyday stuff. We all have projects and commitments at work. Some of us take care of a family. Others follow a study on the side. And a few have side hustles and their own projects.

Everyone is busy.

So how can you win the day?

Often, the most successful people have the highest sense of self-accountability. So how do they win the day?

Simple.

They win the morning.

How?

Most successful people wake up between 4 am and 7 am, with the median around 6 am. And they have a morning routine that sets them up for the rest of the day.

They meet some of the commitments they made to themselves before most people’s day even starts. And instead of rushing behind the facts early on, they are in charge of their day.

That’s the difference.

What can you do every morning that sets you up for success?

And do you already have time for that? Or should you go to bed and wake up an hour earlier?

Developing a routine also becomes a commitment to yourself, which forms an exceptional foundation for self-accountability.

Conclusion

Self-accountability means taking ownership. That includes your life, decisions, commitments, and actions. 

And it matters most when mistakes, failures, and setbacks occur. That’s when self-accountability is put to the test.

And if you pass that test?

Then you will enjoy the many benefits, including growth, personal power, trust, self-confidence, better relationships, and more opportunities.

And that leads to personal excellence and success.

But anything worth going after is difficult to achieve – and self-accountability is no different.

Here are the three strategies to develop self-accountability:

• Atomic commitments: Make small daily commitments to yourself and others and rapidly follow through on them.
• Unlock the gold: Plan moments for introspection. Do it frequently to gain self-awareness and insights, which allow you to make the positive changes you need to succeed.
• Win the day: Better yet, win the morning. Wake up earlier and set commitments for yourself early in the day. Start your day with some wins rather than rushing your way to work.

With these strategies, the positive trait of self-accountability can become a reality. And you will feel more fulfilled and experience more freedom due to it.

Your accountability partner

Developing accountability is challenging. And what helps many people is finding an accountability buddy. A great way is to find someone with similar goals and dreams, so you can hold each other accountable.

If that’s hard to find, I can help.

I send weekly emails with tips to increase self-accountability, stick to your goals, and create a life you care about. So if you want such occasional reminders, make sure to sign up below!