Insideout Mastery

Thrive with Purpose & Confidence

What is Personal Power and How Can You Own It?

If you’re ambitious, you need personal power.

And that’s not a bad thingā€¦

I know that’s hard to realize in a world where many people abuse their power. Therefore, many people confuse power with evil.

That’s simply not true.

For example, you need personal power to inspire and empower people. You need it to make an impact. And you even need it when raising kids.

Now, there are different kinds of power.

And personal power is earned.

That’s a very important distinction. And we will cover what it means in this article and also: 

So, let’s dive in!

What is personal power?

Personal power is the earned status and reputation from internal qualities rather than external authority that allows you to influence people and events. People with personal power have set themselves apart through their behavior, mindset, skills, and relations.

Why is power important?

Power gives you options and opportunities to create a better life for yourself and those around you. But power also provides the ability to influence others, rally people behind a shared vision or purpose, and make a positive lasting impact on the world. 

In other words, power enables change.

Here are powerful examples to illustrate my point:

  • Gandhi used power to resist through nonviolent civil disobedience and became one of the greatest leaders of the 20th century. 
  • Nelson Mandela used his power to bring peace to a divided country and fight for human rights.
  • Buddha used his power to inspire others to relieve suffering.
  • Martin Luther King used it to strive for equal rights for African Americans and was a key player in the Civil Rights Movement.

So, why is power often seen as evil?

Power is the highest capacity to get things done. So naturally, those with poor intentions seek it too. However, they often strive for positional power, which is different to personal power.

  • Positional power is granted through position, often by another person or a collective of individuals (e.g., becoming the manager of a team or the CEO of a company).
  • Personal power is earned by your ability to get stuff done or relate to others (e.g., people like to come to you with questions).

While personal power often grants you positional power, positional power doesn’t give you personal power. And while the power of position is prone to abuse, personal power rarely is.

Why?

Because it takes time and effort to earn personal power. However, abuse it, and you can ruin your power within minutes. 

People rarely take personal power for granted. So if you’ve got the right intentions, strive to increase this kind of power.

The 2 types of personal power

Everyone can earn more personal power. And whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, one of those powers will appeal more to you: 

  • Expert power: Earned through strong expertise or skills.
  • Referent power: Earned through relationships and influence.

That said, don’t let your natural inclination limit you from expanding power in both areas. Each one has its benefits.

Expert power

Increasing your knowledge and skills in a specific area earns you expert power. In simpler words, become an expert in your area, and people will come to you for solutions. 

You gain expert power if you can:

  • Provide better advice than anyone else in your field.
  • Implement a solution faster, better, or more efficient than others.

Be wary that personal power doesn’t come from a ā€œfake it until you make itā€ attitude. Instead, gaining export power requires you to focus on a specific skill set until you master it.

I know, not the super-sexy advice most people are looking forā€¦

However, it’s a great path for those who enjoy analytical skills, gaining knowledge, and working individually. Popular areas include technology and coding, digital marketing, and writing.

Introverts naturally flock more towards expert power. Think about folks like Elon Musk, Albert Einstein, J.K. Rowling, and Warren Buffett.

Referent power

Developing your interpersonal skills increases referent power. Think about your ability to connect with people, build strong relationships, and influence others positively.

You gain referent power if you can effectively:

  • Develop strong relationships with all kinds of people.
  • Influence others super-effectively.

Referent power is great if you want to improve your social skills and enjoy being around others frequently. Referent-based careers include human resources, recruitment, public relations, and management.

Since extroverts get energy from being around people, they naturally flock towards referent power. Think about people like Steve Jobs, Winston Churchill, and Martin Luther King.

Let’s dig into some more concrete examples.

4 Examples of personal power

Here are some examples that explain personal power in each of the scenarios we just discussed:

  • Expert power through expertise: Bob decided to devote his time to developing his coding expertise 9 years ago. As a result, he worked for companies like Netflix and Apple. But today, he runs his own software company with his best friend, generating over one million in annual revenue.
  • Expert power through information: Jake developed online marketing skills within a marketing agency. Due to his commitment to learning in and outside the job, he quickly rose through the ranks within the company and spoke at many conferences. That’s how he became the most sought-after digital marketing strategist within 7 years. He now sells his marketing strategy services, and companies pay him a minimum of 175 dollars per hour.
  • Referent power through relationships: John loves meeting new people and prefers to network all day. He quickly realized his ability to connect job-seekers with employers and started a recruitment agency. His mission is to help thousands of people find their dream job every month. Today, top 500 companies frequently reach out to John for his massive network of talented people.
  • Referent power through influence: Lisa was one of the top stars and quickly became a manager within her organization. Her team feels understood by her, and Lisa truly cares for her people both in and outside work. She also effectively inspires everyone to live up to their potential, and no one wants to let her down. As a result, her entire team crushes it within the company.

Each example shows the upside of gaining personal power by becoming an expert in your field or developing strong relationships. 

Of course, it takes time to achieve the status of these examples. But don’t let that discourage you. Even a slight increase in power comes with many benefits.

And everyone starts from zero, right?

So let’s unlock your personal power!

11 Ways to find and develop your power

The essence of increasing personal power is to upgrade a specific set of skills and become someone others enjoy being around.

How did I identify and develop my power?

After a long search to find out what I wanted to do, I realized that my passion is digital entrepreneurship and personal development ā€“ hence why you’re reading my blog. 

Knowing myself, I focused on expert power first.

I joined a marketing agency as an SEO trainee and quickly developed a skill set. Later, I was able to face clients and improve social skills like presenting. As an introvert, this was quite a challengeā€¦

Nevertheless, I learned a lot and developed some referent power too.

In short, here is what’s most important: 

  • Know yourself.
  • Focus on one area.
  • Become exceptional at it.
  • And then expand your power.

Here are some tips to make it happen:

#1: Discover your strengths

The easiest way to start is by identifying the personal strengths you already possess.

Everyone has superpowers.

Are you great at solving complex analytical problems? Are you creative? Can you rapidly move through the stages of learning? Do you have the ability to soak up lots of information and extract the essence of it? Or are you better at managing teams and leading projects?

Leaning into your strengths allows you to rapidly gain personal power within that area. And that can provide a solid base from which you can expand into other (weaker) areas.

So, how to find your superpower?

If you’ve never done a personality test before, I recommend you take one. They not only provide insights into your strengths and you can use them to improve your personal life, career, and relationships; but they also offer many others insights.

View the best personality tests

If you’ve already taken some of the best personality tests and want to double click on your strengths, then I recommend you check out the best strength tests, like High 5.

#2: Find your purpose 

It’s easier to unleash your personal power if you know why that’s important to you in the first place. Perhaps gaining fame, status, or a shitload of money doesn’t quite stir up your juices.

In that case, finding purpose will do the trick.

A purpose is a big mission that extends beyond selfish needs. Here are some examples:

  • Elon Musk’s purpose is to help humankind survive for thousands of years by becoming a multi-planetary species before a disaster occurs, like a new ice age or WWIII.
  • Oprah’s purpose is to inspire others to be more than they thought they could be.
  • Walt Disney’s purpose was to make people happy.
  • Steve Jobs’s purpose was to make people’s lives better and easier through beautiful products.

You can see your purpose as the legacy you want to leave behind.

What’s something worth fighting for to you?

Once you know that answer, you know have a reason to unleash your personal power. Here’s a guide on finding purpose if you need more help.

#3: Pick your niche

You don’t have to get good at everything you do.

Quite the opposite is true.

If you become (one of) the best in a very niche area, you will become the go-to person. And if you’re working within a company, that’s often quite possible.

The drawback?

You may have to carve out a new path first.

For example, if you’re doing repetitive tasks, perhaps you can find a way to automate them. And that process might require you to do more than your job description. Perhaps you need to develop new skills outside your regular working hours and without pay.

But that’s exactly what will set you apart!

People rarely do more than whatā€™s necessary. And if you want to settle for average, that’s okay. But if you strive for excellence, you must go the extra mile.

The same idea applies if you want to build a side hustle or start a business. So, how can you differentiate yourself and carve out a niche?

  • Can you address a new audience (no one else is targeting)?
  • Can you combine 2 different areas/skills/topics/products/services to create your unique blend?
  • Are there any ultra-specific problems that you can solve?

Even if you have big ambitions, it pays off to start small. For example, Amazon started only as an online bookstore.

A personal example is that I was a digital marketing consultant and my career niche was that I became the product owner for our internal tool.

How can you stand out?

#4: Upgrade your mindset

Do you believe it’s a good thing to have personal power? If so, you’ve already got the right mindset.

But if not, you must upgrade it.

After all, everyone with ambition needs to step into their personal power. And even if desire a simple life, you still want personal power to control what you can control to create meaning and fulfillment.

But what if power corrupts youā€¦?

If that concerns you, it probably won’t corrupt you. Why? Because you’re worried about it. And that means you’ve got good intentions.

We need more people with good intentions to step up and claim their power ā€“ like you. We can make the world a better place.

So, break through your self-limiting beliefs and upgrade your mindset to step into your personal power!

#5: State your ambition 

Once you discover what’s most meaningful to you and set goals for yourself, you must state your ambitions.

There are two reasons to let the world know about it:

  • Letting other people know about your goals allows them to help you achieve them.
  • Making your ambitions public strengthens your commitment to your goals and drives you to take action.

Yes, that requires courage.

But guess what’s needed to develop personal power?

You may feel uncertain about your ambitions. What if they change over time? What if others laugh about it? And what if you don’t achieve it?

Face that fear and share it anyway.

Failures will happen. But as long as you don’t give up, these are merely stepping stones to success. And if your ambitions change in the future, so what? Simply communicate what changed for you.

Be bold and state your goals and ambitions often.

#6: Invest in yourself

Personal power doesn’t simply appear. Instead, you must pursue it. And that requires some investments:

  • Time and effort investment to upgrade your skills and knowledge.
  • Monetary investments to upgrade skills, knowledge, and tools.
  • And emotional investments to face your fears, overcome setbacks and challenges, and pursue through the discomfort.

Creating habits in all these areas will greatly improve your life. So, make sure to invest in yourself.

#7: Develop integrity

Developing integrity is simple: do what you say you’re going to do.

Many people talk a lot but never back it up with action. And while big words provide a headstart, without action, it never wins the race.

Instead, become known as an action-taker.

Become the person others trust for their word. If you always follow up on your commitments, you become the go-to person for problems. And that will also come with greater opportunities.

What if you can’t keep your word?

What if external events throw you off course? When life happens, communicate it. Let people know why you can’t keep your commitment.

But before you do, make sure to come up with a solution!

You see, once again, go the extra mile. 

That way, people will not only trust your word, but you become known as a problem-solver rather than a problem-mover.

Sounds simple, right?

Yet, it’s a rare quality that will set you apart.

#8: Face your fears

Let’s stress the importance of courage again.

Facing your fears is essential to increasing personal power, and you should seek fear consistently.

Why?

Every day, you make thousands of decisions ā€“ many subconsciously. And often, you take the easy choice even though the hard one is much more rewarding.

For example, making that one important phone call at work. Or what about talking to that beautiful girl at the club ā€“ or not?

The hard path requires courage.

But regardless of the outcome, it expands your comfort zone and builds self-confidence. And it shrinks when you take the easy road and avoid your fears.

Yet, most people take the easy way out. Even when they WANT to take the hard path and KNOW it makes them happier.

Why?

Because if you never exercise courage, it becomes almost impossible to act through fear when it matters most. 

That’s why you build the habit of seeking fears consistently.

Become comfortable with discomfort.

Here are some simple habits you can implement:

  • Make conversations with strangers.
  • Take cold showers.
  • Speak up in a group.
  • Take a stance on topics.
  • Try new things and do them often.
  • Do the thing that scares you (start small if you have to).

#9: Speak up

What are your ideas and viewpoints?

Speak them out.

Yes, it’s super uncomfortable to do so if you’ve never done that. 

And no matter what you say these days, someone will disagree with you. You’ll have to accept that fact.

But so what?

Even if you’re wrong, it’s the intention that matters. Speaking with good intent while respecting other people’s opinions gives you personal power.

Not everyone will agree with you. Nor will you agree with everyone. And that’s okay.

Speak up, listen to other people’s opinions without becoming defensive, and stay respectful.

#10: Encourage others

Admirable individuals encourage and empower others to live up to their full potential. So why not start encouraging others?

It feels good to help others succeed.

And it builds great relationships.

But what if you don’t have a managing position yet? What if you’re the newest team member or just starting with your craft?

Doesn’t matter.

You can encourage people at any level, at all times. For example, compliment someone for their ability to explain things well. Appreciate someone making time for you.

Encouraging others is a habit, so start building it now. Not only will that gain you personal power faster, but it’s also a great habit to establish before you gain a lot of power.

So, who can you compliment or encourage today?

#11: Reflect often

Self-reflection is key to consistent self-improvement.

Take a moment and think through past situations. 

  • What happened this week? 
  • How did you deal with challenges?
  • Could you have dealt with them better?
  • Did you encourage someone?
  • Did you learn something new?
  • What could you do better? 
  • What went well? 

We rarely take time to ask ourself these reflection questions like these. As a result, many people live their life on auto-pilot and seldom make a change.

Instead, take a moment to gain clarity and self-awareness. It enables you to better handle future challenges and opportunities.

5 Keys to own your individual power

Your role changes once you establish personal power. And although gaining power is gradual, let’s imagine you’re now the go-to expert.

Here is what’s most essential when you’ve got power and influence. 

#1: Take responsibility

Great leaders own their mistakes, take responsibility for the situation, and find solutions to fix it.

Bad leaders look for a scapegoat, do nothing to change the situation, and often divide people (we have plenty of those in the worldā€¦).

Radical responsibility is crucial to go from good to great.

That’s not easy.

After all, when people see us as experts, we feel like we must know it all and can no longer make mistakes. As a result, we become fearful of looking incompetent and losing our personal power.

But that’s nonsense, of course.

The greatest leaders know that they make mistakes too. The difference is that they act responsible, own mistakes fast, and solve them quickly.

Take radical responsibility if you want to keep your power.

#2: Stay consistent

Never forget what got you into power in the first place. And be consistent with the stuff you’ve been doing.

Do what you say you’re going to do.

Losing integrity will lead to a loss of personal power. So keep doing what you’re doing, lead by example, and never forget where you came from.

#3: Practice selflessness  

It’s okay to have ambition and be selfish when grinding your way up. But once you’ve established a position, you must become selfless.

It’s so easy to use your power to please the ego.

And while it’s okay to use your power to progress toward your goals, you should not abuse it at the cost of others. Instead, use it for a bigger purpose and to help others succeed.

That not only makes an impact on the world, but it also extends your personal power and builds your legacy.

#4: Empower others

You have the power to help others unleash their power.

So why not help them?

After all, helping others up doesn’t mean you lose yours. Instead, if you know about the Law of Abundance, you’ll know it’s often a 1 + 1 = 3 equation.

Also, wouldn’t it be fun to have a small stake in their success?

While you may fear getting stabbed in the back, most people have good intentions and will be on your team forever.

Don’t fear the success of others.

#5: Never sacrifice reputation

Great leaders are humble.

They never forget where they came from and know how much hard work and persistence it takes to develop personal power.

It’s a long way up. 

And the way down?

That can happen in no time.

It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.

– Warren Buffet

In other words, never abuse your power and do things you would publicly be embarrassed for. Maintain your integrity at all times.

Books on personal power

Did you love reading this article and want to learn more about personal power? Here are some great books:

Additionally, you can learn more about power and control in general. It enables you to take better decisions and shield yourself from bad actors.

Here is a list of the best books about power.

Summary

Personal power is earned from internal qualities rather than given by external authorities. Thereā€™s no limit to how much personal power you can gain and itā€™s one of the best ways to influence people and events. 

Those who gain personal power set themselves apart in how they think, behave, interact, and acquire skills. 

Great examples are Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and Martin Luther King.

There are two types of personal power:

  • Expert power develops through knowledge and hard skills.
  • Referent power grows through relationships and interpersonal skills.

While you should develop a degree of power in both areas, introverts tend to favor expert power, whereas extroverts lean towards referent power. But don’t let that discourage you from taking the path you naturally feel more inclined to.

Finally, personal power comes in degrees. And a few alterations can make a massive difference in your ability to make an impact.

Want unlimited amounts of power?

Then sign up for the newsletters below. Every week, I share practical insights and strategies to help you gain personal power and achieve your full potential. 

That way, you can improve the quality of your life while maximizing your impact on the world.

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