Being Proactive: The Surprising Way to Regain Control in Life

Are you ready to take charge and MAKE life happen rather than simply letting it happen to you? Being proactive means getting behind the steering wheel and taking charge.

Become the creator of your story.

Since I took life into my own hands, I’ve become happier. Not letting circumstancecs dictate how you feel sets you free.

When you are proactive, you feel in control.

But, there is a dark side to being proactive… So, you’ll not only learn how to be proactive but also how to avoid those pitfalls.

Let’s dive in!

What does being proactive mean?

Being proactive means taking control of situations instead of merely reacting to life’s circumstances. Instead of waiting for things to happen, you create your desired outcomes.

Elements of a proactive person include:

• Taking radical responsibility;
• Having an optimistic and future focus;
• Creating and executing a game plan;
• And acting on non-urgent but important things.

What’s the biggest difference between proactive and reactive behavior? 

The latter is only concerned with what’s happening now. You respond to life’s situations and feel out of control. Complaining and blaming are clear characteristics of a reactive person.

Proactive people sit in the driver’s seat and look forward. 

Examples of being proactive

The book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People popularized the proactive habit. Covey states that proactive people focus on what they can control and use language such as I will, I prefer, and I can.

Reactive people primarily worry over things outside their control. Their language often includes I can’t, If only, and I have to.

Let’s clarify the differences further with some examples.

Example 1: Making a career switch

Making a career switch is challenging, specifically when it involves a different field. 

Passive people browse job descriptions, see they lack the requirements, feel frustrated, and throw the towel in the ring.

Instead, take charge of your life. 

You may lack the same experience, but that won’t hold you back. You educate yourself even if that’s in your free time.

Furthermore, you react to job offers even when you lack the requirements. However, you will go the extra mile in communicating motivations, eagerness to learn, and other positive traits you bring to the table.

Example 2: Creating your dream life

Everyone has dreams and desires. But, unfortunately, reactive people never turn their dream into anything more than that. Instead, they hope to get lucky and win the lottery. 

And that rarely happens.

Being proactive means turning your dreams into a plan and execute on them. Even if you feel uncertain about your path, you still take action and experiment to find out what works. 

As a result, you learn and grow.

Success will come if you take action, evaluate, adjust, and repeat that process. You will fail and learn. But you won’t give up.

Example 3: Being proactive at work

Being proactive is rarely required at work, so most people only do exactly what’s expected. They follow their job description to the teeth and only say something when asked during meetings.

However, being proactive at work has many benefits, especially if you’re ambitious and want promotions and pay raises.

Jump on opportunities as they arise, especially if no one else does. Here are some examples:

• Create a standardized Excel template that improves the workflow.
• Take up an ignored but valuable project no one wants to do.
• Connect with the IT department about the printer that stopped working a week ago.
• Contribute to meetings, ask questions, and provide your opinion.
• And offer support to others when they need it.

Doing all the above will increase your value in the company. And you will be rewarded for it. Be wary of the pitfalls, though, which we will get to in a moment.

Example 4: Financial independence

Financial independence is no accident. And while everyone knows that, only the minority plans for it. Most people live their entire adulthood living from paycheck to paycheck.

Proactiveness means you set long-term financial goals, like early retirement. And then create a plan to achieve that goal. 

For example, you figure out that you should invest 200 dollars per month in an index. So, every month, you take 200 dollars from your salary and put it into an investment account, regardless of the market conditions.

Each example illustrates a clear point: being proactive means you take control and create your circumstances.

Why is being proactive important

While most people understand the importance of being proactive, most people fail to grasp just how much that’s true.

So let’s sum up the benefits:

• You feel in control because you make life happen rather than simply allowing life to happen to you.
• You become more valuable because you create or jump on more opportunities that benefit everyone involved.
• You meet more people, which is the natural result of being proactive and capitalizing on opportunities.
• You become known for proactiveness, and more people will come to you with even more opportunities. 
• You make dreams happen because, besides dealing with day-to-day situations, you plan and act for long-term success.
• You experience freedom because you always take responsibility and ask: what can I do next, as opposed to, if only…

That leaves the question: how can you be more proactive?

Start with a proactive mindset

A proactive mindset starts with the realization that you’re not a product of your circumstances but your decisions. 

Of course, unexpected things happen.

And sometimes, they’re tragic.

But while that’s unavoidable, you always choose your response. You can choose a proactive attitude, even if life throws you a major curve ball.

You’re always free in your response. 

Victor Frankl was a captured jew in the second World War. But while working under the most dehumanizing circumstances in the Nazi death camps, he arguably enjoyed more freedom than his captors.

How is that possible?

Most of his captors didn’t want to be there and were happy to go home by the end of the day. And while his captors took away Frankl’s physical freedom, he kept the freedom to choose his response and attitude in any situation.

Frankl chose a positive mental attitude. 

He survived and wrote the book Man’s Search for Meaning about his experience in the death camps (I highly recommend reading it).

Your mind is the most powerful tool in your arsenal – or your greatest enemy. Most of your life’s battles take place between your ears.

How to foster a proactive mindset

Here are some ideas to adopt a similar mindset to that which helped Frankl survive the Holocaust.

• Always take responsibility. Often ask yourself: what can I do next? That’s always the better response than looking for scapegoats or complaining about situations.
• Focus on things you control. Even when stuff happens, that’s not your fault, and outside your sphere of influence, you can always take responsibility for your response to such situations.
• Think big picture. Unexpected stuff will happen and throw you off your plan. When that happens, zoom out and look at the long term. Even an awful month is only a minor blip on a 10-year timeline. 
• Have a positive mental attitude. Like Frankl, you can focus on the positive in any situation. While this is certainly not an easy thing to do, what’s the alternative?
• Learn from past mistakes but don’t dwell on them. Mistakes and failures are lessons and opportunities. They are essential for growth and success. So, try to appreciate their value during difficult times.
• Always seek to add value. While we’ll dive deeper into this in the next section, it starts with a mental attitude.

Developing all these points at once is too much and overcomplicates the process. Instead, pick the one thing that will most benefit you. Then, focus on implementing it to the best of your abilities.

Develop these 6 proactive skills in life

Being proactive is a habit, mindset, and skill in one. And you should practice it consistently, deliberately, and with the right attitude.

So yes, there are a few moving parts.

However, you can start simple and gradually improve and add different elements. And the easiest way to ease into proactiveness is through the following proactive skills.

• Goal-setting clarifies your desired outcome, which provides focus and direction. That’s helpful if you want to achieve your dreams and life goals. But also when pursuing smaller everyday objectives.
• Self-leadership means you take control and become a go-getter. You take the initiative rather than waiting for instructions or help from others. What should you get done today?
• Prioritization also provides clarity. And lacking clarity is one of the key reasons why people feel overwhelmed and stuck. The book The ONE Thing is an excellent read to help you identify the most important task.
• Problem-solving and primarily focusing on solutions, not problems, will make you super proactive. Spend time coming up with different solutions for different issues. Developing this simple skill will lead to more success and increase your happiness.
• Interpersonal skills, in this context, means being proactive with people. Reach out and follow up with them. Inspire and motivate others to be their best selves. For example, celebrate their successes and compliment them often. 
• Providing value at all times will drastically improve every aspect of your life. After all, value drives everything from moving up the career ladder, achieving business success, and increasing the quality of your relationships.

The secret to adding infinite value

Most people take more than they provide. But people like to be around those who do the exact opposite. And you can increase your value dramatically by providing more energy than you consume.

Sounds like a challenge?

It’s not that difficult when you realize that smiling at others is a simple way to add value. So is giving a compliment. Or what about preparing dinner for your partner when they come home late? 

Small things matter.

Wonder how you can improve the value of others at all times. How can you add a little extra in every moment?

Be wary when going the extra mile.

Although adding value and going the extra mile yields the best rewards, it also hides one of the biggest drawbacks. And that’s providing value when it’s uncalled for and even unhelpful.

You must understand the room.

For example, if someone invites you for dinner and you proactively bring a self-made dessert without asking, you might upset the host.

While you have good intentions, they might have spent most of their time making dessert. Or perhaps in their culture, the host organizes everything and bringing food is a sign of disrespect.

So when seeking to provide value, ask yourself if:

1. You’re not taking value away from someone else;
2. You’re adding value to others, not just to advance yourself;
3. And if the context is right; will your contribution be appreciated?

If you pay attention to the above, you will provide more value than you take. People will love you for it. And many new doors will open up to you.

How to be more proactive at work?

Being proactive at work leads to more engagement, opportunities, professional growth, and even fun. While it often requires getting outside your comfort zone, it’s worth the effort.

Here are some actions you can take:

• Actively seek feedback. Proactive people seek continuous self-improvement and often ask for feedback. Ask your boss but also your colleagues. When everyone sees you’re trying to improve, they will appreciate it. 
• Communicate proactively. Your colleagues or boss can’t always smell what’s going on. So, provide updates. Let people know what you’re working on and what’s on your mind. I shared weekly updates when I worked on a tool for our team.
• Ask questions even if you fear looking stupid. Those who asked questions in my previous job were also the most engaged. While some people rolled their eyes at their ‘dumb’ questions, they learned faster and received more promotions.
• Be active in meetings. Your contribution is valuable even when you’re wrong or make mistakes. Why? Because, most likely, more people think the same but say nothing. So contribute your opinion, raise questions, and ask for clarification.
• Follow up with people. Did you promise to get back to someone? Do it. Become someone known for sticking to your word.
• Get to know people. Connect with people in your company. If you meet people from different departments, why not have lunch with them? After all, lunch is a great time to connect and build relationships, so make the most of it whilst you’re there.
• Offer help when needed. Seeing someone struggle with a task that you can help with? Offer your support. And if they accept it, don’t just do it for them but instead show them how to do it.

The dark side of being proactive at work

You may know an overly proactive person at work. They constantly interrupt others and always want the last word in meetings. While they may genuinely want to provide value, they do so at the cost of others. 

Sure, it’s proactive.

But it’s not valuable or appreciated.

So, how can you pursue your ambitions, stand out, and be more proactive without stepping on other people?

First, understand that everyone is different. We all have unique goals, values, and beliefs. Some of us are more reserved, while others are more outgoing. Appreciate those differences.

Then, and I’m going to say this again, understand the room. 

Adding value at work includes:

• Letting others speak without interruption;
• Praising people for their ideas or contribution;
• And inspiring and motivating others to speak up.

The fastest and most rewarding way to add value is by helping others become their best self. Embrace that fact, and you will quickly rise through the ranks – while developing many great relationships.

Become a proactive learner

Most people are passive learners. They follow the school’s curriculum and some mandatory courses at work. 

But that’s where most people’s growth stops.

My life drastically changed when I became a proactive learner. I became more curious about many topics I had never learned about.

Crucial topics for success and happiness…

My life changed because I started reading the best self-help books and took learning into my hands. For starters, I learned about myself, gained self-awareness, improved my mindset, and optimized for health. 

It also allowed me to change careers.

I learned high-income skills without a degree in my free time. And I did so through various courses on Udemy, paid for out of my own pocket.

Why am I telling you this?

If you really want something, it requires sacrifice. Don’t wait for your boss or anyone else to give you opportunities.

It has never been easier to become the creator of your story. Some of the best resources include: 

• Subscribe to Insideout Mastery, of course. *wink* 
• Read books to educate yourself on a wild variety of topics.
• Take courses on different topics to learn new skills and discover what you enjoy. Udemy is a great place for this.
• Raise your curiosity about the world and topics that pique your interest. Doing so makes you more engaged, and that accelerates the learning process. Einstein attributed his success simply to being more curious than anyone else.
• Try. More. Stuff. Trial and error to obtain real-world experience is the fastest way to learn. Read books and take courses but also implement them. Turn your knowledge into wisdom.

Once again, if you become a proactive learner, you will regain control, feel happier, and achieve more. Pursuing growth is one of the most rewarding journeys you can take in life.

Conclusion

When you become proactive, you take the driver’s seat and create rather than letting circumstances dictate the outcome.

Success in any way requires proactiveness.

You can think about the successful entrepreneur, for example. But also consider small ways, like getting a raise at work or asking someone for a date. 

Everyone will enjoy a little more proactiveness in life. It enables you to provide more value, gives you control over your future, and increases your happiness.

Do you want to take control?

Becoming more proactive is a process. It’s a journey that won’t happen overnight. Instead, no matter how small, you must take daily action.

Do you want to become the creator of your life’s story?

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